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December 31, 2012

Making 2013 The Year of Happy

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Here we are, the end of another year. For most of us it’s a moment of reflection and an opportunity to start over or do-over those things that maybe didn’t meet our expectations. Resolutions and promises fill us with hope for something better.

My only resolution for 2013 is to make this the ‘Year of Happy’ which, honestly, has been my resolution for the past three years. 2012 hit the mark, despite life throwing what it did at us.

Around us tragedy struck our neighbors, our community and our nation. In our family, we worry over the medical diagnosis of a loved one and are holding to as much hope as we can muster for a positive outcome. Professionally, I managed the challenges often experienced by most freelancers looking for paid gigs in a market overflowing with freelancers looking for paid gigs.

But we also experienced the joy of a wedding, the birth of our nephew, new friendships, new partnerships, and new adventures. Because I have chosen to focus my thoughts and energy on these positive elements taking place in my life and not giving in to the sadness of those things I can’t control, I remain, for all that the 365 days have thrown at me, happy.

I think I was always meant to be a happy person. I’ve shared, here and there, very intimate tales of my childhood, from poverty to being taken from my mother, to being a single mom, to the death of my mother – but yet, even beyond the darkness of it all, I came out happy. But I have worked at it too. I had to – to not become a victim of others, to be present for my children, to have the strength to go on. I believe we all have the potential to be happy.

We can create excuses for why someone else is happier than ourselves. I have heard the rumors, I know what some people say about the reasons why I am happy. For some people I am happy because I have a husband who they think provides me with financial security, or because I don’t really have any physical or emotional or even psychological obstacles that make my life more challenging. To some it may seem, my being happy comes easy to me. But you never know what a person’s reality is or what their story has been, or what they had to go through or overcome to be where they are today. You can never dismiss or judge the potential of your own joy because of how you may assume others achieved theirs.

If you want to make 2013 your ‘Year of Happy’ as well, I have a few suggestions to help you get started. I recently watched, and recommend, the movie Happy. It’s a documentary which helps to break down the science behind happiness (in the same way in which sadness or depression is often examined) and provides a view of what happiness is and how is it achieved throughout the world. The copy of this film was provided to me by my friends over at Happify and I loved it and wanted to share it with you as well. Here are a few pointers I picked up from the film:

  1. Looking beyond money and material possessions. One of the most poignant messages evoked in the Happy movie is how money can’t buy you happiness. Though, the movie points out the difference between being homeless and not and going hungry and not can have a significant affect on our overall emotional and psychological well-being, having a significant amount of money or financial success isn’t a guarantee that you will be any happier than those who have less. The movie highlights several people from around the world and those who proved to be the happiest of them all were not the wealthiest, but had the strongest community and family ties, as well as living their personal dreams – not the ones society or anyone else set for them, but that which they felt most passionate about, regardless of financial gain, recognition or accolades.
  2. Do something novel. Most of us know that exercising and staying active helps to increase dopamine concentration in the brain and releases endorphins that act as a neurotransmitter which gives the body a sense of well-being and pleasure. But did you also know that doing something new, changing your routine has a similar affect? It can be as simple as taking a different route in your jogging path or as adventurous as traveling to new lands. Take on a hobby, stay active or travel somewhere new this year.
  3. Serve others. The most important thing that you can be is kind. The most important thing you can do is help others. I recently participated in #26Acts of kindness. But what I didn’t do was promote it or share my experience via my social media networks. I did this because in this day and age we often feel propelled to do things for attention and recognition. It’s an addictive, self-serving phenomenon. We often want to share to encourage others to also do the same, and though it’s true that witnessing others be kind serves to inspires more people to follow, it’s also easy to get distracted by the attention directed at you instead of at the cause. I wanted to reserve the emotions and experience for myself. I wanted to feel the raw satisfaction of what it is to be kind, even when no one is looking. The result was a private and overwhelming surge of joy that served to ground me, humble me, move me, and even bring me to tears. It helped me deal with the sadness I felt over recent tragedies such as Hurricane Sandy and the shooting at Sandy Hook. But because I told no one, I also had the silence and solitude I needed to process my thoughts and emotions in a way that made me feel more present and more in touch with my intentions. We all process our feelings differently. It matters little how you do it or that anyone knows, just that you make it a point each day to give kindness.
  4. Evoke a concentrated Flow, which is a state of completely focused motivation. It’s a sense of purpose, the commitment to fulfill personal goals. I recommend you check out the book by the same name, authored by Psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi in which he states, “During flow, people typically experience deep enjoyment, creativity, and a total involvement with life.” It’s the satisfaction and drive behind the hours I take to walk around NYC or anywhere I may be traveling to photograph my surroundings or the hours I give myself to blog. Find that which nurtures your creative being, that belongs to only you, and it will take you closer to moments of joy each time.

Lastly, I am starting to read The Happiness Project this week and will be discussing it over at my book club discussion board at The Copia (disclosure: I have a paid partnership with them, though I am not compensated for anyone’s participation in the discussion boards). I invite you to join me. I will post a new topic every week starting Tuesday, January 1, 2013 and every Tuesday till the end of the month. I am reading the e-book and will post personal thoughts that you can also follow there.

This new year as you write out your resolutions, whatever they may be, there is no denying that the over-arching point of it all is to achieve happiness. For me, it’s a work in progress and I am grateful for everyday I wake up to it. It would be awesome if you would join me in this journey in making 2013 the Year of Happy for us all.

Happy New Year my friends!

This is not a sponsored post. I received no request to write this piece for anyone. The thoughts and opinions are strictly my own.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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3 Comments
  • Toni | Boulder Locav
    January 1, 2013

    As one fortunate to have spent time with you I can attest to your natural contagious joy and spirit of fun. I think 'happy' is so much about state of mind and intent. Great tips my friend.

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    January 1, 2013

    @Toni | Boulder Locavore: Thank you Toni! I am hoping to see you again this year xoxox

    Reply
  • movers los angeles
    July 4, 2013

    @Carol Cain, I have viewed your profile. You are adventurous. Thanks for the tips.

    Sonia

    Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

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MARK YOUR CALENDAR! @travisjcain will be painting MARK YOUR CALENDAR! @travisjcain will be painting a beautiful new mural at Elmira’s Mural Fest this year (weather permitting on Saturday, if not on a less rainy day)! Last year he painted this board which was recently on display still at @communityartselmira. 

Hopefully we have a sunny day and you can come out to support Travis and all the muralists that day! See you there!

#elmirany #painter #artist #communityarts
Sometimes it’s like I never left. #newyork Sometimes it’s like I never left. 

#newyork
SHOUT OUT to our oldest, @davidacain_, who carries SHOUT OUT to our oldest, @davidacain_, who carries with him the entrepreneurial spirit he’s inherited from his parents. 

While successfully working in supply chain management for a global corporation based in NYC, he continues to manage and operate his own product, @getcalma, a comforting heated eye mask that is currently on the Amazon top seller list for two years in a row and has a growing consumer following! 

We are so incredibly proud of David and his growing success as an entrepreneur and in his career, and know the future will continue to be bright for him!

To learn more about Calma and make a purchase, visit his website at GetCalma.com. 

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The time has come to move on from my role as a bar The time has come to move on from my role as a barista at @the_garage_at_rye and towards my next adventure. 

I started this journey with a curiosity for a craft I admired and wanted to learn more about. It turned into a job. Then a serious passion. And now here I am, launching Café Cómodo (KOH-moh-doh), which means “Comfortable/cozy” in Spanish, a pop-up café serving espresso and seasonal drinks at local farmers markets and private events! (@cafecomodony)

Starting yet another business was never my intent…and yet, I fell further in love with the craft, the industry, and the culture.

I owe so much of what I have learned to @seschieber, who took me under her wings and taught me so much (and still does) and who embraced my nerdiness and eagerness with patience and kindness….and in the process became one of my dearest friends. Working alongside her has felt like winning the golden ticket. She further instilled in me a respect for the craft, the industry, and a commitment to always strive for a quality product, even in a world of Dunkins and Starbucks. 

Grateful for @abbdawes, @hannahmariee93, and Amanda who tolerated my clumsiness at the start while I fumbled my way through the register and the various drink recipes!

I wasn’t sure where this journey would lead, and as I look back at these clips I realize how much I have changed in the process. It’s not always a place that impacts you, but rather the people in it.

I will miss the regulars I’ve gotten to know whose names and drink orders I memorized and who I looked forward to serving. 

I’m so grateful for everything I learned, beyond just making coffee, because I know it will help me to further grow as a leader, an entrepreneur, and a team member wherever I go and in everything I do next.

I won’t miss the dark morning wake ups and long drives before sunrise though! 

I’m proudest of myself for wanting to develop a new skill and ✨DOING IT✨ even when it felt awkward, nerving, and impossible. I hope you will follow me on this next chapter and come say hi at the market (and hire me for your next event)!

Thank you to Charlie Hunter, owner of The Garage for this opportunity.

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