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October 15, 2015

From the People of Fiji with Love

The sunsets in Fiji are beautiful, but they aren't what will touch your heart when you visit.

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We are preparing for the holidays by enjoying all

We are preparing for the holidays by enjoying all the things closer to home. I miss seeing my siblings and my friends but I know it is all for the best for everyone.

This weekend we’re in our home in @flxwinecountry picking up our turkey and other goodies from local farmers for this week’s special dinner.

In my FLX Holidays InstaStories I share all the local things to do for those stuck at home too. A reminder that we should take this time to support our communities and invest in them always but especially this holiday season. 📸 The @arnotartmuseum in Elmira, NY. I fell in love with this sweet museum, which is currently hosting a Holiday Art Market featuring local artists. I picked up some pieces to take home! It runs thru Jan. 9, 2021.
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#myflx #fingerlakes #flxholidays #arnotartmuseum #elmirany #shoplocal #stayhome #explorehome

Back in paradise for a couple of days to prepare f

Back in paradise for a couple of days to prepare for our small crew’s Thanksgiving dinner. Why come to the Finger Lakes for that, you ask? One word: farms.

We’re picking up our turkey and many of our recipe items for the several dishes I plan to make from local farmers we’ve grown to love.

We might even hit up a brewery, or winery, and hiking trail too!

In the meantime, we’re out here in @flxwinecountry enjoying the sunset over the vineyards.
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#myflx #theflxcottage #fingerlakes #vineyard #farmhouse #countryliving #farmtotable

I was watching an episode from a show called The B

I was watching an episode from a show called The Beginning of Life recently on Netflix and it made me feel awkward. There was so much information, interesting information, that I didn’t have when my kids were little. Things I didn’t know. And I started feeling regretful that I didn’t know, that I missed an opportunity to nurture this or that. I started questioning whether I missed something or messed up something. So, I turned it off. Because I’ve been a mom for 23 years now and there is no more room for inadequacy and self doubt.

My entire motherhood experience was guided mainly on being the mother I never had, and the parent I always wanted, while also keeping them alive, healthy, on track to happiness of their own - however that manifests itself.

I realized that my boys may grow up to be happy, successful older men and I will probably always have moments where I wonder if I could’ve done better.

But the truth is it’s really all just baby steps. One day at a time. We spend so much time worrying about their future that we sometimes miss out on the present until it’s gone. I both miss my boys as littles but am also in awe of them growing up. And when I have moments of feeling like I didn’t do good enough by them, I focus on the beautiful, happy, kind human beings they are and remind myself that I helped shape that in them too.

In short, a reminder to be kinder to yourself. And to accept that in fact, you are enough.

And for me, to tell myself that I am a damn good mom.
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#parenthood #motherofboys #motherhood #lifewithboys

Beautiful day for long walks and daydreams.

Beautiful day for long walks and daydreams.

Limbo feels weird. So I went outside. And it made

Limbo feels weird. So I went outside. And it made me feel better.

What an amazing couple of days. We weren’t even

What an amazing couple of days. We weren’t even an hour into our joy when calls came in for embracing of, and kindness towards those who voted differently from us, who now find themselves on the other side of this election. As if this all boils down to a difference in politics.

I agree we need to all find a way to work together and that we need to heal. But I also want to make clear that the reaching out to those whom have embraced white supremacy, violence towards my Black, brown, immigrant, and trans family and community, the threatening of our very lives - not just our right to our bodies or whom we love - is not work I am planning on investing any time on.

These people are not my family, or my friends. They are not in the courtrooms pleading for asylum seekers, or incarcerated in the ICE detention centers. They are not at my table talking to my sons about how they can stay alive and safe. Especially when in the presence of the police. They are not holding the hands of my LGTBQ friends whom have spent so many years and emotions scared and at a loss. Or the hands of immigrants pleading for safety and their lives.

It is true that a larger percentage of Latino men, as well as Black men, voted for all the things we fear the most, and these are tough conversations we need to have. But my devotion and my time and my energy and my love will not be spent in trying to convince someone who doesn’t value us as human beings. But instead in organizing, mobilizing, protesting, and empowering our people so that we can continue to fight and vote and push back against that which aims to harm all of us.

So don’t ask me to embrace or extend kindness. That’s not my job. That’s not my uncle, or mother, or sister, or friend whose racism I’ve tolerated for years. But if it is yours, that it is your work to do. If white supremacy and intolerance and hate disguised as religious fanaticism is in your social or family circle, then focus your attention, efforts, and time there. We all have so much to do. I thank you and appreciate you all in advance for putting your best efforts where it is needed. Hopefully we will soon find ourselves a lot closer than where we started.

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