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December 6, 2013

Five Years Blogging, 10 Lessons Learned

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This month marks my 5th year as a blogger.

Five years. In blogging life, I suppose, that’s nothing. Especially when you think about how many people have been doing it for decades and decades. For me it feels as if time has flown by, except so much has changed and I along with it.

I think back at my very first post and though it is way longer than most of my posts today, written in the third person, and focused heavily on my adjusting to a new life as a stay-at-home mom, it still has elements felt in my blog today: I felt the desire to share what my neighborhood was like, what it had to offer, and what I loved about. It touched on my unease with the changing face of New York City, the gentrification of the same, and my inability to reconcile with it. And it touched on how out-of-place I felt in my new role when compared to others – though I was still very much trying to embrace it.

I remember, in my first year of blogging that people would ask me, “Where do you see yourself/your blog in five years?” I can’t even remember what I answered at the time, probably because I was insincere in my reply, mostly because I really had no idea. The fact that professional blogging wasn’t something I ever planned on doing and knew so little about made it even harder to envision what a future would look like. So I never have – which is so typical me.

Though I couldn’t envision the future, I am able to reflect back on the past and contemplate on the lessons I have learned over the years and man, there have been quite a few. Here are my top 10:

1) First big lesson I learned was that rejection and having my feelings hurt were the best things that ever happened to me. The hurt part (where a blogger was mean) happened only once. Not that other bloggers haven’t been rude since, but that it was the only time I was brought to tears and really affected by it. I remember it often not as a grudge, but as a lesson on how to treat others and how I can be a better person.  It can go either way for some, but I think I walked away stronger and better for it. No one has ever brought me to tears again.

2) I quickly learned that popularity is relative. I learned very quickly to never let myself get caught up in praise and accolades. Of course I love them and of course they make me feel great, but pride and ego have a way of slowing one down from continuing to achieve their potential. It also has a way of stifling kindness and consideration of others. For all the people who say how famous you are, there is a whole world out there who doesn’t know, and doesn’t really care.

3) I learned that there will always be someone doing something better than me. There will always be someone who got an opportunity that I wanted, or recognition that I felt I deserved. And that’s a really great thing because it inspires me to work harder and get better as a writer, and as a person, it challenges me to be humble and give praise to those so deserving of it. If you ever have a hard time dealing with someone else’s achievements, take a step back and a deep breath, and come back and congratulate them. There is more than enough opportunities out there. One person’s success doesn’t hinder your ability to obtain your own.

4) I learned that it’s better to be a blogger who stands for something, than a blogger who stands for nothing in exchange for profit. It’s better to be the blogger who stands up for herself, than the blogger who wants everyone to like her and allows herself to be pushed around.  Demand the respect you want and always seek to surround yourself with good people whether fellow bloggers or brands. It’s better to say no to a brand that doesn’t align with your values, than sell your soul for something you neither believe in, nor support – and then try to suck your readers in as well.

5) I learned that being controversial is not the same as being relevant or worth the read. As vocal as I am, I get no pleasure and have no interest in shock and awe. There are many successful sites who build themselves from click baiting and SEO manipulation. It’s a business approach that works for them. I chose, and am comfortable with, not pursuing that option and growing at a slower pace because of it.

6) I learned to really be proud of my blog and of being a blogger. I struggled at first with the lack of respect that I would often receive from those who didn’t understand blogging, or who painted all bloggers as being the same. But I quickly decided to get over it because I didn’t want to spend time trying to prove that I mattered to people who didn’t. Instead, I put all my energy and focus on my work and redirecting it all into something more productive and positive has been incredible for me. I am very proud of it and won’t ever treat it as having less merit or value than what anyone else chooses to do for themselves. I also respect that not everyone will respect what I do. I still get people who try to belittle what I do, sometimes bloggers who have been at this for a long time like to take a jab or two. I’ve learned to see it for what it is…which has nothing to do with me.

7) I learned to say “No”. I won’t deny that I sometimes question myself, but in the end, I know my family, my health, and my overall happiness are more important. Respecting that and demanding that others respect it as well has not, as I initially feared, negatively impacted my professional growth.

8) I learned how important it is to stay on course with what I love. Because I do what I love, it rarely ever feels like work – though it is. I chose to do something that I enjoyed, not for money or perks or benefits. But because I enjoy it. So much so that even after 5 years, I still remain oh so very happy to just be here. I am as excited about what I do as the very first time I did it.

9) I learned that people will remember me more for how I treated them, than for my blog or how many followers I have. I am always very appreciative of anyone who will share with me: be it their friendship, their knowledge, their time, their service, or their opportunities. And I never dismiss or assume that someone isn’t worth my time. Yes. I am busy, but only if you are cruel are you not worthy of anything I can offer in exchange.

10) I learned that it’s OK that I have no idea what I want to do in 5 years. Maybe because today makes me so happy. Maybe because I never envisioned even getting this far. Maybe because I don’t want to rush away time. I guess in the end, I’ve learned to not take any second of this for granted. I know one thing, it will be fun to read back on this list and see how much more I’ve changed.

Thank you to all my readers, many who have been here since day one. Thank you for believing in me, growing with me, and following me through it all. Really, my biggest lesson learned is that without you, so little of it would have been possible. Here’s to another 5 years!

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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21 Comments
  • Mardi Michels
    December 6, 2013

    Carol – first of all, congrats 🙂 Five years is huge and you've really come so far in such a short amount of time! Secondly, these lessons learned – yes they are valuable in a blogging context but, more importantly, in life. Great post!
    My recent post Les Petits Chefs decorate cookies for the holidays with Adell Shneer

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Mardi Michels
      December 7, 2013

      Thank you Marid! And I agree, lesson for life as well : )

      Reply
  • Corine
    December 6, 2013

    Happy blog anniversary, Carol! Your list in this post is filled with SO much truth. I’m not sure which point is my favorite.

    Awesome, awesome post. I’m so proud to call you my friend.

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Corine
      December 7, 2013

      Thanks Corinne! I am so, so glad you are my friend as well : ) Love you.

      Reply
  • Nancy D. Brown
    December 8, 2013

    Congratulations Carol. Five years of blogging is a big deal, and, as others have noted, you have accomplished a lot in the blogging community.
    My recent post Equine Writer Nancy Brown in the News

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Nancy D. Brown
      December 9, 2013

      Thank you, Nancy : )

      Reply
  • Kat
    December 9, 2013

    Congratulations on five years! Excellent lessons.

    Reply
  • Victoria
    December 9, 2013

    Hi Carol,

    Congratulations on your 5 year blog anniversary! I’ve only recently started following your blog and I really like your “voice” and the fact that you’re a different type of blogger and pretty successful at what you do. I’m a fresh 5 week blogger so I’m looking up to the rest of you as trendsetters and so, I would just like to say “Well Done!”

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Victoria
      December 9, 2013

      Thank you Victoria! And congratulations on your new venture! Best of luck and may you always find joy in it.

      Reply
  • Barbara
    December 9, 2013

    You are a joy to read and I will as long as you write for us 🙂 Congratulations on your 5 yr anniversary – so happy we met!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Barbara
      December 9, 2013

      Thank you Barbara…and me too!

      Reply
  • curvyroads
    December 9, 2013

    Carol, congrats on your anniversary, and even more so, on your wise reflections! As Mardi said above, these are wonderful lessons learned for life, not just blogging, and I will take them to heart as well.

    I am a new blogger and enjoy reading writers like you who write so honestly and cover what you love, not what makes money or page hits.

    Here's to many more anniversaries! Cheers, Lynne
    My recent post Holy S#^t, Batman! The sequel…

    Reply
    • caincarol
      curvyroads
      December 9, 2013

      Thank you so much Lynne! And happy blogging journeys to you as well!

      Reply
  • miss
    December 10, 2013

    you are a good example for the bloggers out there. hope you move forward and live a life worth of living. stay safe!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      miss
      December 10, 2013

      Thank you!

      Reply
  • Nnenna
    December 10, 2013

    Congratulations on ur BIG 5!!! Looking foward to the day I'll write something like this. Well done Carol! 🙂

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Nnenna
      December 10, 2013

      Thanks Nnenna! Can't wait to read it!

      Reply
  • Harlem Lovebirds
    December 10, 2013

    Happy belated blogiversary! This should be a must read for all bloggers – I especially identified with the part about pride getting in the way of potential. I like to stay hungry – it keeps me motivated!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Harlem Lovebirds
      December 11, 2013

      Thank you! The pride one requires constant checking. I am always checking myself and surround myself with people who are supportive, but also would never let me get away with any shenanigans! LOL!

      Reply
  • Oly
    December 11, 2013

    Congratz! High Fives!!! Happy 5th anniversary Carol. Nice to have met u on twitter-chat #livethedream and hope to meet u in person someday, since we r just from neighboring states. as a newbie, i will be celebrating my 1st anniversary next month. Keep up ur great posts!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Oly
      December 12, 2013

      Thank you Oly! And happy early anniversary!!

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

Contact

  • caincarol@gmail.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

MARK YOUR CALENDAR! @travisjcain will be painting MARK YOUR CALENDAR! @travisjcain will be painting a beautiful new mural at Elmira’s Mural Fest this year (weather permitting on Saturday, if not on a less rainy day)! Last year he painted this board which was recently on display still at @communityartselmira. 

Hopefully we have a sunny day and you can come out to support Travis and all the muralists that day! See you there!

#elmirany #painter #artist #communityarts
Sometimes it’s like I never left. #newyork Sometimes it’s like I never left. 

#newyork
SHOUT OUT to our oldest, @davidacain_, who carries SHOUT OUT to our oldest, @davidacain_, who carries with him the entrepreneurial spirit he’s inherited from his parents. 

While successfully working in supply chain management for a global corporation based in NYC, he continues to manage and operate his own product, @getcalma, a comforting heated eye mask that is currently on the Amazon top seller list for two years in a row and has a growing consumer following! 

We are so incredibly proud of David and his growing success as an entrepreneur and in his career, and know the future will continue to be bright for him!

To learn more about Calma and make a purchase, visit his website at GetCalma.com. 

#proudmomma #getcalma #entreprenuer #smallbusiness
The time has come to move on from my role as a bar The time has come to move on from my role as a barista at @the_garage_at_rye and towards my next adventure. 

I started this journey with a curiosity for a craft I admired and wanted to learn more about. It turned into a job. Then a serious passion. And now here I am, launching Café Cómodo (KOH-moh-doh), which means “Comfortable/cozy” in Spanish, a pop-up café serving espresso and seasonal drinks at local farmers markets and private events! (@cafecomodony)

Starting yet another business was never my intent…and yet, I fell further in love with the craft, the industry, and the culture.

I owe so much of what I have learned to @seschieber, who took me under her wings and taught me so much (and still does) and who embraced my nerdiness and eagerness with patience and kindness….and in the process became one of my dearest friends. Working alongside her has felt like winning the golden ticket. She further instilled in me a respect for the craft, the industry, and a commitment to always strive for a quality product, even in a world of Dunkins and Starbucks. 

Grateful for @abbdawes, @hannahmariee93, and Amanda who tolerated my clumsiness at the start while I fumbled my way through the register and the various drink recipes!

I wasn’t sure where this journey would lead, and as I look back at these clips I realize how much I have changed in the process. It’s not always a place that impacts you, but rather the people in it.

I will miss the regulars I’ve gotten to know whose names and drink orders I memorized and who I looked forward to serving. 

I’m so grateful for everything I learned, beyond just making coffee, because I know it will help me to further grow as a leader, an entrepreneur, and a team member wherever I go and in everything I do next.

I won’t miss the dark morning wake ups and long drives before sunrise though! 

I’m proudest of myself for wanting to develop a new skill and ✨DOING IT✨ even when it felt awkward, nerving, and impossible. I hope you will follow me on this next chapter and come say hi at the market (and hire me for your next event)!

Thank you to Charlie Hunter, owner of The Garage for this opportunity.

#coffee #cafe #popupcafe
Recently took a moment to slow down and enjoy the Recently took a moment to slow down and enjoy the sounds of this beautiful place I call home. 

#fingerlakes #newyork #upstateny
Barista training = Trial by fire. 🔥 This is the Barista training = Trial by fire. 🔥 This is the way. 

@shellyk_025

#baristalife #barista #coffeeislife

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