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June 27, 2018

Family travel is great, but let’s not glamorize it

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I have been a mom for a long time, almost 21 years now. I have been traveling with kids for almost all that time and blogging about some of those adventures for over 10 years. I have learned and seen some things, which is why this growing trend to “glamorize” family travel is not a trend I can get with.

Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE seeing the world through my children’s eyes. Traveling with them is one of my favorite things to do. Taking them back to a place I experienced alone makes the whole place new again when I revisit it with them. I get giddy from it. I enjoy the many conversations we still have about our favorite trips, things we’ve eaten, seen. Places we’ve stayed at, new friends we’ve met along the way. I have no doubt in my mind that my kids are better people because of our travels. But they are still kids after all, and we’ve been doing this for a few years now.

There have been tantrums, fights, and illnesses. One time, I lost my then 5-year old on his first trip to Disney. Another time, my then teen and I had a full-on fight while in the mountains of beautiful CO over my denial to let him go on a weekend trip with his girlfriend. I once walked away from my entire family during a road trip, they got me so angry. Not to mention we are FIVE people and travel in such large numbers is EXPENSIVE.

When they were little and we tried to visit family in Wisconsin, they were so restless and people on the plane so mean and rude to us, that we resorted to only doing road trips. This was great because it is how we traveled across state to Montana, Seattle, California, Texas, and Wisconsin and all the places in between. Now, they are much older and we can travel however we want, take long, challenging hikes, and sleep under the stars without concern that someone will cry or wander away in the middle of the night. We’ve even taken our road trips abroad. But it also means having an adult child who has his own life, and is taking his own trips without us. It means having a tween who wants to be with his friends and prefers the stability of home over the constant movement of travel. We have to plan more and prepare better and be more considerate of our children’s lives.

Anyone who has seen me traveling with my kids will tell you, I run a tight ship. Sure, I am fun too, but I am the mom who makes sure they change out of the t-shirt they’ve worn for 2 days, and the one who makes sure they don’t order soda with every meal, and the one who doesn’t allow jet lag to be an excuse for disrespectful tones and attitudes, and the one who makes sure that we all consider what everyone else would like to get to do on a trip. This machine doesn’t run itself, people.

So, listen, I want you to travel with your family. Take your kids on a road trip. On a plane, see the world. Go to Venice…but maybe go off-season. Or stay closer to home and do some local trips, which are also really easy and nice.

Travel. But let’s not pretend it is perfect. I mean, it is as perfect as families can be. Just go into it fully prepared for arguments, mishaps, dirty laundry, and slower schedules, and be aware that your time traveling with them is very, very limited, so embrace the laughter and hugs and intimate conversations.

And for those of us who write about it? If you don’t want to share the ever-present, not so pretty family details of traveling with your kids – cool. But let’s also not glamorize it or make it seem as if we’ve reached peek parental perfection in having executed a flawless, tantrum-free family trip. It sets unrealistic expectations and can actually discourage people from going out themselves. Because whose kids are always Instagram willing and ready and perfect in every way? Certainly not mine. And I doubt any of yours either. Whatever this new trend is it needs to stop. Let’s leave that fantasy out of it, though I get it’s what publications like and what they think sells.

One of the most beautiful things about travel, and the stories about the same is the authenticity of it, especially when it comes to traveling with our kids. Let’s keep it real, so they also have real memories to look back to.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

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A message about yesterday’s event: Happy Monday A message about yesterday’s event:

Happy Monday, y’all. Woke up in time to enjoy the soft glow of sunlight that shines its way around our house in the morning, and sipped on a cafecito without being rushed for anything. So already today is a win. 

Yesterday we worked our longest day yet for our little coffee cart that could (7 hours!!!) at the Heritage Fiesta in Ithaca, NY. 

Though we were ready for a crowd, the reception was also unexpected because there was a popular coffee shop just steps away. 

But we had Cómodo Fam stop by, family (who also fed us 🙏🏾), and soooo many members of the Latinx and BIPOC community who were just excited to see a small business like ours representing. 

I want to share that we were ALL worried about potential harassment and assault by 🧊and fliers were handed out to prepare us. And you would think that it would’ve intimidated the community enough to not come out…BUT WE DID. In numbers. 

And for hours that little parking lot next to Press Bay Alley was packed with all sorts of Latinx and non-Latinx community members, eating, laughing, dancing, singing, and drinking all the cafecitos and refreshers we had to offer. Literally. We went home cleaned out!

All this to say that we are all aware of the threats but we also understand the power and importance of coming together as a community and a people. By no means are we all the same, and Lord knows a lot of Latinos have a lot of self-reflecting to do based on the choices they made, but yesterday was a testament to the best of us, and I thank @yenospina and @lcatompkins for putting together such a wonderful event, for inviting @cafecomodony to be a part of it, and to all the friends, old and new, who came out to support us and la cultura. 

#fingerlakes #newyork #cafecomodo #coffeelover
Finally taking a break to enjoy one of my favorite Finally taking a break to enjoy one of my favorite lazy day pastimes of the season: market shopping for fall goodies - which in the Finger Lakes is especially bountiful. 

📍Joseph’s Wayside Markey, Naples, NY

#fingerlakes #newyork #octobermood #fallday
Our neighbors are harvesting the grapes. The proce Our neighbors are harvesting the grapes. The process is busy and noisy but also exciting and fun to watch. 

This cloudy morning seems to have calmed things down a bit, but not for long I am sure. These families work hard!

Bonus: they set up roadside stands so we can purchase and taste them 🍇 I highly recommend picking some up if you see some in your drive. 

#fingerlakes #lifeinthecountry #newyork
The rain has been so good. More, please. ❤️ The rain has been so good. More, please. ❤️
I want to take moment to send out love to my fello I want to take moment to send out love to my fellow Latinx and immigrant community. 

To send strength to my community of glorious misfits who are out in the world making good trouble and emboldening us to not give up hope on our dreams, our livelihoods, our future, our country, our people. 

The country our parents worked so hard to get to so that we could fly. A country they helped build and bring to prosper. A country our communities help to feed and house and care for. 

I am my immigrant parents dream come true, and my children are a continuation of that dream. 

I just want to remind all of us who represent the targeted, of our worth. Of the value of our contributions. In our languages, our culture, our insights, our work ethic and skills and knowledge. Of the things we bring to the table.

I don’t know what will happen tomorrow, or to us. But, as someone whose family lived through a dictatorship, I have an idea of how this story will end. And all I can advise is that we remain on the right side of it, our convictions unaltered, our core values untethered. Our spirits unbroken. In these stories, the monsters might scare us, and even harm some of us, but they never, ever win in the end. 

I am living proof of that. ❤️ And every time you succeed and feel joy, you are too. Pa’lante, mi gente.
Signs of autumn 🍂 in the Finger Lakes. Signs of autumn 🍂 in the Finger Lakes.

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