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February 7, 2013

The Courage to Travel: How to Make It Your Own

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The media dog has found a new bone. This time it is the topic of women traveling solo, and why we shouldn’t, using as the example the tragic death of 33-year-old solo female traveler, Sarai Sierra, an American, in Turkey.

I won’t start another post talking about why I support female travel, whether solo or not, because many great women who travel solo have already written wonderful articles on the subject.

I know of many women who not only travel alone often, but have also built successful travel writing careers as a result. Female travel bloggers I have long admired, such as Janice Waugh, who along with Tracey Nesbit run a site dedicated to everything and anything for solo travelers; Barbara Weibel of Hole in The Donut has been a solo traveler her whole life; travel bloggers of color such as Maureen Jenkins of Urban Travel Girl, Oneika Raymond of Oneika the Traveller and Kiratiana Freelon of KiratianaTravels.com, just to name a few, often share what it is to be a woman, traveling alone, and of color – which adds a completely different element to the experience all together.

The point is, and what all of these women have in common, is that they have not let anything; their gender, their unaccompanied status, their age, or even the color of their skin, get in the way of going out there and taking on the world.

When it comes to travel, fear is your greatest enemy and the largest road block. People go on and on and on about it being about the lack of money, or time, or flexibility from work, or family, or life – but they are all just cover ups for the fear. Stories like the one being hyped by the media on this very sad incident only serve to further excuse that fear and allow people to cushion their excuses for not traveling – to certain parts of the world certainly, but also as as a specific gender and alone.

Jodi Ettenberg, of Legal Nomads raised a good question, “Why are we talking about solo female travel, not violence against women?” in her great response to this issue.

I have often shared my story on travel, on having gone against almost every single limitation set before me to do so: I am a woman who grew up in a traditional Latino home. I have a family. Kids. Work. School. Money. I don’t speak the language. I look the way I do. I’m American. The list is endless.

But at the base of it all, the only limitation to travel is you and you alone. Think about anything you have ever really wanted in your life and what you have had to do to get it and keep it. Travel requires the same level of desire and intense level of commitment and focus. It requires what some call sacrificing (though I certainly don’t consider much of what I have to let go to travel to be a sacrifice) and it requires responsibility in preparation and in knowledge.

There are endless upon endless of blogs and books from people who have been there and learned from their mistakes. Take it upon yourself to read and become aware. No matter where you go, be it Florida or Istanbul, you will need to guard yourself with information and a sense of awareness that can help save everything from your money to your life.

Travel as a solo woman, or as a person of color, or as a family, or as a blond girl, or as an American, or as a gay person happens every day, all the time. People from all walks of life take on travel, some making great changes to do so, others just rolling out of bed and taking the next flight. Either way, it’s a choice that requires more from you than just getting on that plane.

Prepare yourself with the right knowledge and tools and travel can be a beautiful, life changing experience. Those who tell you otherwise are often dealing with their own insecurities and trying to wrap their heads around things they often don’t know anything about.

So, whether you want to travel solo or as a family, I hope you will not let others scare you against taking the leap. The purpose of life is to succeed, not in how well you guard each day, but in how much fear you conquer to actually get out there and live it to the fullest.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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9 Comments
  • Holy
    February 7, 2013

    Beautiful and so right on, Carol. I just came back from a two trip to Asia, some of it spent alone, some with a friend. We felt welcome everywhere we went and I'd do it again in a heart beat. There is so much to be gained traveling alone and taking the time to explore the world. For me, it was returning to my roots and the start of an annual trip on my own to see more of the world.

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    February 7, 2013

    @Holy: I absolutely loved learning about your experience in Asia, Holly. Every time a woman travels and shares her journey, as you have, they serve to inspire and motivate others to do the same. So happy you will be doing this annually again 🙂

    Reply
  • Holly
    February 7, 2013

    Yes, now I have to find a way to express who much it meant to me on my blog. It's hard to find the words. Hopefully, they will come in the next few days.

    Reply
  • Monique
    February 9, 2013

    Well said. I take personal offense at many of the comments asking how could her husband "let" her travel or how selfish and irresponsible it was for her to travel without her children. I was recently traveled to Morocco alone, and while I certainly noticed that I was noticed, I didn't feel like I was in danger. I hope this doesn't stop women – black, white, single, married – from getting out and traveling.

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    February 9, 2013

    @Monique: I agree, Monique. The first time I traveled to Europe I was 18. As I ventured alone through the streets of Milan (and this was in the late 80s) men and women would stop and stare at me. Though I was a "novelty" at the time, I was never in danger, and I was never afraid. Except for one incident, I was never in real danger…and Italy remains one of my favorite places to visit still. We just need to learn to travel smarter, and more aware, no matter what our gender.

    Reply
  • Imogen
    December 4, 2013

    My first time travelling completely alone, at 20 years old I am currently interning in SE Asia with an NGO called SOLS 24/7 and I LOVE IT! I'm so glad I decided to take a risk and travel for a year. Yes you do hear of stories of women being sadly attacked etc. but I definitely agree if you prepare, plan and remain cautious then nothing should stop you from travelling and having a great experience.

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Imogen
      December 5, 2013

      This sounds so wonderful! Good for you for pursuing your dreams and not letting fear stand in your way of anything. Safe and happy travels!

      Reply
  • Kelly Rogers
    April 30, 2014

    I like to travel. And my children also like to travel. It’s also a great way of bonding with my husband and kids. 🙂

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Kelly Rogers
      April 30, 2014

      @Kelly Rogers: I agree. My favorite way to travel as well : )

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

Contact

  • caincarol@gmail.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

Happy winter and merry everything as we enjoy anot Happy winter and merry everything as we enjoy another snowy day in the Finger Lakes. 

Personally, I am ready to hibernate for a bit and enjoy a book or two by the fire while the sounds of my guys fills our home. 

I am in no rush to start the new year but am also excited to get started. I want a year filled with more time with friends, and pursuing projects that I am really inspired by and to be surrounded by inspiring people. I expect to say no a lot this year, after so many years of saying yes and regretting it. I want days that feel happy and healthy and fulfilling. 

Not too much to ask, right? And I wish you all a happy and healthy year too. May you love and be loved in all the ways you deserve and need. ❤️

Thanks for the follow, the support, the DMs and comments, and kindness expressed and shared.
This time of year is a joyous one but it can also This time of year is a joyous one but it can also be terribly overwhelming and draining. 

As someone managing two small businesses and all that life throws my way, I felt I needed a little escape, and Rochester always delivers!

We booked a hotel room, hit up all of our favorite spots, and a couple of new ones. On the list of musts:

📍Highland Park Diner- a must for a hearty breakfast to start the day. Best on weekdays for no crowds. 
📍Siren and the Sea - new cafe bookstore full of good reads, cozy vibes, and yummy drinks
📍Happy Earth Tea - where I picked up some delicious chai and matcha (also a sweet little yap spot with friends). 
📍Lamberton Conservatory - especially this time of year as it’s decorated for the holidays. Was a lovely spot to sit on a bench and zen out for a bit.
📍Winter Swan Coffee - afternoon cafecito, gift and plant shopping
📍Ugly Duck Coffee - the main reason we were inspired to come to Rochester on this specific day, for their Industry Night, where we nerded out about coffee “and beyond”. Of course we went back the next morning for coffee!
📍Rochester Public Market - for some evening holiday market strolling and hellos to our friends Sylvan Farm and Cidery who were working the market!
📍Lucky’s for dinner - yummy, but man oh man do I miss their onion rings!

Absolutely love this city for it’s ability to make me feel happier and lighter. Happy place 🫶🏾.
I’ve seen some pretty spectacular sunsets in my I’ve seen some pretty spectacular sunsets in my travels. Some of my absolute favorites have been on a beach in Mazatlán, Mexico, behind The Brandenburg Gate in Berlin, Germany, while sitting on a fisherman’s dock in Seoul, South Korea, along the rugged seashore of La Perla, Puerto Rico, and here in the Finger Lakes. Not an exaggeration. The sunsets here are stunning. Breathtaking even. 

#fingerlakes #newyork #citygirlinthecountry #sunsethour
As a Brooklyn girl, born and raised, I never could As a Brooklyn girl, born and raised, I never could’ve imagined a reason to stray too far from my beloved city…and then, I found the Finger Lakes. Never say never. 🤷🏾‍♀️

Bonus: Brooklyn feels like a world away from all this peace and beauty, but it’s only a 4 hour drive. 🫶🏾

#fingerlakes #newyork #citygirlinthecountry #roadtrip
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Strolling the interconnected buildings and walkways leads you into a new experience, and with each ticket allowing for two consecutive day visits, you are encouraged to take your time. 

Another thing to note is that in between my visits (separated by a month’s time) I got to see new installations that weren’t there before, as many of the exhibits are ever-evolving. 

I have yet to visit during warmer temps, when the outdoor spaces are activated with more art and events, so am definitely excited to return. It would also be cool to catch a live performance there! 

Bonus: the coffee shop adjacent to the museum - @tunnelcitycoffee - serves up some good sips, and I highly recommend reservations to @casitaberkshires, the Mexican restaurant also on campus.

#berkshiresma #roadtrip #museum #massmoca #visitberkshires
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#fingerlakes #upstateny #snowday

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