• About
  • Blog
  • Working together
  • Testimonials
  • Contact

Girl Gone Travel

Girl Gone Travel

Travel
/
June 19, 2017

Lessons learned in my first year of homeschooling

Enjoyed this post? Give it some love and share!
Share

This week marks one year since I took my kids out of school just a few days shy of their official end-of-year date. We headed off on a volunteerism trip  to the Dominican Republic, which was work for me, but also served as a kick-off to their homeschooling journey and experience in volunteering abroad.

I honestly can’t believe that a year has already gone by, or how I feel about it all now.

Spinning head, insecure heart

When I decided to home school I was holding on to the safety net of school in my back pocket. I thought that if summer schooling was a total bust that I would just send them to their next grade that following September as if nothing ever happened.

When I started, it felt safe to tell myself we were just trying it out, keeping our options open. When my heart was doubtful I would always tell myself that they could always go back.

I was scared about my job and professional opportunities. How would I juggle those? Clearly, traveling for a month to France or for 15 days to Fiji wasn’t something I would jump at anymore. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t a lifestyle I wanted anymore and I would soon find other great opportunities more fitting of this new path.

My oldest is starting his 3rd year in college and is already talking about moving on with his life. I have two tweens at home. I am not the mother of little babies or toddlers, drowning in lack of sleep or over exhaustion from it all. My kids have grown. Fast. Soon, this phase will be over and I want to enjoy it as much as I can still.

A year later, I am less afraid and am more confident in what we are doing.

The transformation

There were things that my sons’ teachers always talked about that I immediately saw in my kids. My youngest’s constant talking and need to distract from the task at hand. His older brother’s refusal to ask or reach out for help.

It took me a good 3 to 4 months to really get around these things. I allowed my youngest to talk and share and walk around and do whatever he wanted to as long as it didn’t distract his brother too much and as long as he still got his work done. Over time, he didn’t feel the need to talk as much, or walk away from his work all the time. We set up a quieter space for them to work in my home office when they needed the space, but they often work on the dining room table, or in the living room, or in their bedrooms. And when the weather is nice, they like to work outside.

Getting the older one to trust me when I told him making a mistake did not mean failure or lack of intelligence was a bit trickier. Convincing him that errors did not correlate to bad grades or humiliation was a tough barrier to crack. It was embedded in him so deeply already, and he’s only just starting 5th grade. He has gotten better, asks for help often, and seeks me out when he is stuck on something (usually math) but he still is constantly checking to make sure he is “not failing” and “passing”.

I also saw my kids’ strengths. One is so good at math and is fascinated by science, chemistry, and engineering. The other is a detailed writer with beautiful penmanship who will devour a book in days. They are so different and unique and awesome. I knew this, of course, but seeing it in their work and in how they learn and grasp new topics is exciting to me. I see their confidence grow each day and their curiosity for everything is constant. Our conversations are often riddled with random facts and new discoveries found online or in a random library book.

But in addition to the transformation in my kids, I saw a transformation in myself. I relaxed more and wasn’t so unhappy about my role as a mother. When they were in school, the complaints were constant. There were compliments too, of course, but we tend to feel the complaints more and worse yet, we internalize them deeply. There were so many arguments over unfinished homework or comments made at parent-teacher conferences. There were the bullies, or the kids who wouldn’t include them, which started changing them into becoming who ever they thought they needed to be to fit in. There were the mean teachers, or the ones who believed that putting a kid down would help to build them up. There were the tests, and then the endless weeks to prepare for the tests and the stress these caused. There were the social workers who tried to teach the introvert to be better at making friends and speak up more in class, while also trying to teach the extrovert to tone down his feelings, lower his voice, or not always express his opinions. It just never seemed to end, this constant deluge of all the ways in which my children didn’t flow with the system set up for them and every other kid.

For all the ways in which homeschooling can feel overwhelming, and it is at times, it does not compare to the level of anxiety and stress and frustration and anger and sadness I felt when they were in school.

I underestimated myself and my kids

One of the things that most moms ask me is how do I manage to keep my kids on task. The truth is, we do argue over too much procrastination or over distractions (mostly YouTube gamer channels), but my kids understand consequences and responsibilities really well at this point. They know that though we are not moving at the same pace as the public school, we also have work we need to get through. We take a lot more time off – to travel, or go to the park or pool – but we are always learning regardless. They know what they have to do and can work pretty independently. Plus, they want to do the work. It’s not this stressful thing by which they are evaluated as people or potential contributors to society. This is their education, and they understand that, but they have also come to understand that it isn’t what defines them or what they can potentially learn or do later in life.

Some parents can’t imagine it, and honestly, I could not have either, but my kids get up, make their breakfast, putz around a bit, and then get to work. On their own. Sure, there are days when they need a nudge, but in general, they know what the expectations are and they tell me often how grateful they are to have the opportunity to home school. I underestimated how smart and capable they are. I expected so little from them, but once I opened it up for them to just be, they have proven to be so, so much more. I can’t even take credit for much of it. I just feel that they are these people that I never really saw before and I so thrilled I get to see it now.

Most parents ask me about my education and training. Are you a teacher? Do you have a teaching background? And when I say no, I am not always sure what they are left thinking. But I underestimated how good I am at talking to my kids and walking them through a subject – yes, even pre-algebra. I underestimated how much I have to share with them that would add to the value of their education and how good I am at this. I underestimated myself as a mom.

We can be so hard on ourselves, and believe so little in what we and our children are capable of.

This year has been an incredible lesson for all of us.

Odd woman out

All that said, I don’t often share with strangers that I home school my kids. In fact, I rarely volunteer that information, even when others ask me what grade my kids are in. My husband shares it proudly. My kids are pretty confident in telling people when they ask them about school, which weirdly enough is often. I don’t. I can hear the tone in their voice, that weird, “Huh” or “Oh”. I know that in that instant I have left them with some opinion that might not even be close to who I am.

I once had the husband of a teacher ask why I would do such a thing to my children. He worried about their social lives and ability to function in the real world. I’ve had a lot more people ridicule us for homeschooling when we pay so much in property taxes (assuming that high property taxes automatically equals better, qualified schools is a topic for another day). I have had people slowly walk away from me, or just give me that weird “I regret that I asked” smile.

I never try to sell it to anyone. This is such a personal choice and I get that it makes it difficult to know how to peg us. I am the odd mom out in many ways. But I have my people in social activism, and local minority groups, with fellow parents in scouting, or baseball, or swim team and my kids have a rich and full social life. Home schoolers are not social recluses.

Scouting, one of the many activities the boys are involved in.

Changing how we were doing things, especially in educating our kids, has improved us as parents, has helped my kids become more confident and happy, and has really improved our home life. And I am grateful for the small village of fellow home school moms for their help along the way.

Our kids see this change as an example of what it is to be independent thinkers and courageous doers and have been able to make decisions and do things regardless of what their peers may be doing or trying to convince them into.

Our future

As the public school year comes to an end, we are continuing to work and will do so through the summer, though much less so. I have asked my kids if they want to go back, and they both said no. So far, they want to hold off on middle school, unless something changes, and go to high school, unless something changes. I sometimes here about stuff happening at the schools and I wish my kids were taking part in it, but then I remember the other many reasons that lead us here. I don’t know if or when we will go back because on top of it all, we really love the freedom. The freedom to travel which we can and have been doing whenever we want. The freedom to learn at our own pace, which can be faster or slower depending on the subject. The freedom to seek out and research and learn about the things they are most interested in, like foreign languages, or geography and cursive which sadly aren’t offered much in school these days. Of course, the freedom to work in one’s pajamas doesn’t hurt either.

The beauty of it is our options are open and for as long as we have this gift, we will make the most of it. For us, it’s been the most rewarding decision we’ve ever made, albeit it took a rollercoaster of emotions to get here.

If you are a parent who is thinking about homeschooling, my advice is to take it slow. Talk to others who do it and research what option (because there are many) is best for your kids and your family. It wasn’t “just right” when I took the plunge. I still have my days, but after a year I can say it’s been wonderful. I also know it’s different for everyone, and it isn’t for everyone. So, no need to feel bad if it turns out not being right for you. Though I do hope this helps to give some insight into what it can be when the fit it a good one.

 

 

Related

Enjoyed this post? Give it some love and share!
Share
Pin this Post
Share this Post
Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

You May Also Like...

Christmas Tree Hunting in Long Island, NY

December 12, 2008

Fort Tryon Park, Washington Heights, NY

December 10, 2008

Winter afternoon in the Bronx Zoo, NY

December 16, 2008
6 Comments
  • Jen M
    June 21, 2017

    Did you purchase your curriculum? Where from? Do you use the same curriculum company for all subjects? How much is online and how much is books/workbooks/paper?

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Jen M
      June 21, 2017

      Hi Jen. We use a combination of things. For books, this year I used a lot from Spectrum, but I compliment them with online sites as well such as Khan Academy (free) and Brain Pop (monthly subscription). We are trying some of these, but also some other new ones for their next grade level – just to try something different. I do not pay for online schooling. I build the curriculum with the help of a book called “Home Learning Year by Year” which is a guide for designing a homeschool curriculum. It has all sorts of suggestions, from reading guides for different grade levels to subject topics they should be focusing on – many of them aren’t even offered in traditional school anymore. We also do a lot of research online and I get different materials for chemistry experiments, Spanish lessons (I am a fluent speaker), cursive, and geography. We also pick up learning from the places we go, like incorporating history lessons when visiting certain destinations or learning about biology when in the woods. My kids will express an interest in a topic and we will pursue learning about it. For example, they recently expressed a curiosity about Christianity (we are not religious), so I (who grew up in a religious family) will read the Bible to them and reference historical, geographical, and other factual information into the process. They go to a visual arts school for art, participate in sports, and volunteer and participate in team building experiences through scouting. No two days are the same and they do a lot of independent working, but I am more involved in the process than I ever was when they were in school. Hope that helps!

      Reply
  • Nnennaya
    June 21, 2017

    I’ve been considering homeschooling​ before my little ones were born. But being a working mummy and trying to joggle doing homework alone has been tiresome ???? Am preparing to start working from home very soon probably it would give me more time to transition into home schooling. I also LOVE the idea of travel volunteerism… that’s what world-schooling is all about! Can’t wait to do so with my kids in the nearest future ????
    Homeschooling is Nigeria is very very rare. I mean I may have to purchase books from abroad. But I really don’t mind….*fingers crossed*
    Well done Carol. I remember when you started​ this journey with your boys. I tell you they would forever be grateful to you and your husband for giving them this rare opportunity. All the best! Learning from you ????????

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Nnennaya
      June 23, 2017

      Thank you! I wish you luck in figuring out your journey.

      Reply
  • nadya
    August 7, 2017

    So glad you’re homeschooling! Schools are not very good at meeting everyone’s needs. They are made for kids who can sit for long and I feel like there is still a lot of lecture style learning. And I feel that a student is not in the same grade in each subject: they may be at one level in math and another level in English but schools just give a bad grade, which makes the child feel like they are bad at the subject. I went to school to be a teacher but support my sister’s home schooling 100% and would only unschool my kids. Hope it goes well next year!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      nadya
      August 8, 2017

      Thanks Nadya!

      Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Previous Post
Coney Island, a beloved part of New York history
Next Post
For as far as it has come, travel media needs to do better

About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons and 2 puppies. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

Categories

  • Asia5 Post(s)
  • Caribbean17 Post(s)
  • Central America4 Post(s)
  • Europe53 Post(s)
  • North America316 Post(s)
  • Oceana1 Post(s)

Contact

  • carol@girlgonetravel.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

I’ve been a mom for a really, really long time. I’ve been a mom for a really, really long time. As the oldest of all my many, many siblings, caring for littles started very early in my life. I have cared for, changed diapers for, fed, rocked to sleep, booboo-kissed, advised, reprimanded, worried for, been frustrated and given anxiety by more kids than I care to count. Because I started caring for children so young, I was convinced I wouldn’t have any of my own. But I had my three beautiful boys.

I miss the little babies they were, sometimes to the point where it aches, but I love seeing the men they are becoming. I am most grateful to them for the ways in which they continue to help me discover more about myself both as a mom and beyond motherhood. My identity was never fully in being a mom, I never wanted that for myself and they all have respected, accepted, and given me space for that. And I love them unconditionally for it. Because as they start to find their own paths in life, I am not left with an empty anything, instead I find myself with a life fulfilled. Of which being their mom has been the greatest adventure.

Happy Mother’s Day to all the amazing mother figures, caregivers, and humans who have provided for another in loving, maternal ways regardless of biology and traditional roles and societal expectations. ♥️ May you find fulfillment, love, and joy in the ways you have tried to give to others who needed it most.
The Village of Monticello is located right off NYS The Village of Monticello is located right off NYS Route 17 (future I-86), mid-way between New York City and Binghamton. It is also the largest community of the Sullivan County Catskills. Like many rural downtowns across the U.S., Monticello has experienced some hardships. However, what I found especially lovely was how there is a vibrant BIPOC community, especially Latino, thriving with their small businesses and eateries keeping Downtown Monticello alive.

Imagine my delight to have seen several Dominican- Puerto Rican eateries serving and sounding like a slice of home. Last night’s treat was had at @nellys_latin_restaurant. 

Roasted pernil, grilled chicken, rice and peas, yuca, sweet plantains, ox tail, goat….the list goes on and on. Right here in Monticello, NY. I ate and washed it all down with a cool papaya shake, just like from the islands.

So, if driving through, be sure to check out downtown Monticello for some good Caribbean eats…and wait till I tell you about breakfast!!! Thanks @nickfingdavis for the find! 🇩🇴🇵🇷

#monticellony #catskills #goodeats @sullivancatskills
Nothing like the beautiful golden hour in @flxwine Nothing like the beautiful golden hour in @flxwinecountry.🌞

#myflx
These days you will find me walking in the rain, c These days you will find me walking in the rain, chasing waterfalls, and anything nature filled. Such is spring in the Finger Lakes 🌷

#fingerlakes #lifeinthefingerlakes #cascadillagorge #ithacany
I sometimes can’t believe how easily I fell in l I sometimes can’t believe how easily I fell in love with this life.

There was a time when my DREAM was to be one of those old NYC ladies living in a 4 story walk-up, and who people would often see pulling around her shopping cart from market to market. And while I long for a NYC that barely exists anymore, I do have to say I am still often surprised at how dramatically that dream has changed.

Now I dream of uninterrupted days spent tending to my garden and growing food and other pretty greenery I never knew I could. Or figuring out new recipes and sitting by the fire with my puppies on my lap.

I crave mornings made foggy by the adjacent lake, and early wake-ups by the sound of the passing horse and buggy on Sunday mornings.

Yeah. The world is big and there is so much I want to see still but I also love this place where it feels like nothing else matters, not even the mud on my hands and boots.

📸 Gardening bliss on a rainy day at @theflxcottage.
Yesterday, we headed to @tanglewood_nature_center Yesterday, we headed to @tanglewood_nature_center to scout a photography location. The focus was work. But as we took the 3 mile hike to the overlook, through the mud, in the rain…and the sun, because spring, and as the birds sung, the woodpeckers pecked, and the deer strutted, I felt myself feel lighter, happier, and at ease. With just a walk, in this beautiful place. Alongside my beautiful partner.

If you call the Finger Lakes home, I hope you can also appreciate it and the gifts it offers, even when we least expect it. And if you need a reminder, just go outside.

#tanglewoodnaturecenter #fingerlakes

Copyright © 2023 Girl Gone Travel | Privacy Policy | Copyright Notice