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August 2, 2022

Life in the Finger Lakes

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It’s officially been a year since my family and I relocated to the Finger Lakes region of New York. Honestly, I can’t believe it. In part because we still have unpacked boxes hidden away for when we have time to go through what now feels like another life and because it all came so fast.

I also can’t believe it’s been this long since I’ve written on my beloved blog (though those wanting more regular posts to know just to follow my Instagram). That bit is because I’ve been really busy growing my business and, when not working, trying to disconnect and take in this wonderful new life we’ve created for ourselves.

Some friends and followers have asked a few questions about life here, and I thought I would use this update to answer some of those and give a glimpse into what has changed for us.

GROWING OUR SMALL BUSINESS

Since I last wrote my husband has quit his high-end, high-paying job in New York City to come work for our agency, Brave World Media, full-time. Even though this was my idea, and I really worked to convince him to do this, I was a mess when he finally did. All the insecurities of owning my own business, plus those pesky voices that made me doubt myself made for a weird, surreal transition. Though I tried to keep an optimistic face, the truth is I was scared…but also incredibly confident that it was the right choice for him, us, our business, and our family.

We decided earlier on that we didn’t want to play the political games or immerse ourselves into a system where it became about who you knew more than anything. Instead, we took the slower route of building on our reputation and word of mouth. So, my husband and I put our heads down and got to work, and it is paying off. This has also made our work feel incredibly fulfilling and enjoyable.

In the process, we’ve really come to appreciate how much more we can do here as small business owners and entrepreneurs. The room to grow and be creative and to really build something meaningful. We work hard and are committed to quality and meaningful relationships, and we are seeing the rewards that come with that, something that easily gets lost and goes unnoticed by so many in the big city.

This November Brave World Media will turn 6 years old (!!!). This dream I had to build something that would help to do more than just marketing and communications has grown into a business that supports my whole family…and because of this move, I get to do it with my husband by my side.

I never thought I would create and build something that would make it possible to work with the love of my life, much less be able to support our whole family. I am incredibly proud of myself for this accomplishment…and happy that I found the place that helped make it possible.

While I know moving overseas to start a business or freelance and become a digital nomad is the big thing now, I also know this isn’t something many people can or want to do. (Not to mention, I have very strong opinions about how these digital nomads are hurting many of the communities they are helping to gentrify…but that’s a topic for another post). There are places that don’t require you to uproot your life abroad and that are incredibly amiable to those wanting to start a business or change careers to something a bit less stressful and chaotic. I am so happy I landed here.

A MORE LAID-BACK LIFE – SORT OF

Being a small business owner also means you don’t operate by traditional 9-5 schedules. It is tempting to always work, but not as tempting as it is to enjoy the outdoors. It is so beautiful here that we make sure to carve out time to take it all in as much as we can, whether that is spending time on the lakes, hiking, exploring new towns and businesses, or just sitting outdoors taking in the sunsets – which are breathtaking!

One thing I have learned about people, in general, is how easy it is to take for granted the things around us. I did for a long time, and it took me moving out of New York City to appreciate what that insane, crazy, busy city has to offer and how many gifts it has to give those who have the grit to stay. I try not to take anything for granted like that again because I miss on so much otherwise.

The Finger Lakes is no different. Some people here can’t see what I see and don’t understand why I love it so much. And there are some people who have never been here or might have just driven through who just don’t get it. I also understand that for some life is harder, with many challenges and far fewer privileges. I understand, too, that not every place is for everyone.

So this is from a very personal perspective. For us, life here has been healthier, more rewarding, and a lot less stressful. We feel like we can breathe and happiness to our core, and we enjoy having so much nature and beauty at our fingertips.

FINDING MY PEOPLE

Before I knew anything, I worried about rural America’s racism and politically conservative reputation…the antithesis of who I am, what I believe in, what I stand for, and who we are as a family. I worried about the lack of diversity especially when so many people told me there was none here. The years, traveling, and many moves have taught me that some of these things can and do exist anywhere, even in my proudly proclaimed liberal former New Jersey neighborhood. And so as a woman of color, I do still make choices considering all of these factors, but these are not choices exclusive to where I live now. In fact, I very quickly learned that there are plenty of diverse, opened-minded, welcoming, and progressive communities in the region – I simply wasn’t talking to the right people. This past year, we have befriended a beautiful mosh posh of diverse people, in large part because we opened ourselves up to it and didn’t allow our apprehensions or preconceived notions to limit us.

Yes, I can regularly enter spaces where I am the only person of color, and yes, even those most well-intentioned people can say the most ignorant things, but our circles are wide, and we seek out other spaces and other people and have learned that there are quite a few more who were looking for us as much as we were looking for them.

I am so happy that I didn’t allow my previously uninformed generalizations to limit me in finding my people and the beautiful spaces they have welcomed us into.

what’s next

It’s hard to envision the future as we are still adjusting to our present reality. We are currently working on exciting projects with new clients and planning a few international trips before the end of the year. (Yes, we are planning a lot more travel again!)

We hope to grow our agency next year, though our goal is not to get too big so that we can always continue to deliver more personalized experiences.

I want to blog more…my goodness, I need to share with you all the places and things I have tried, visited, and loved!

And lastly, I will continue to share more regularly on social media, but I am so moved by messages I have received from readers around the globe telling me they miss my voice on here. Thank you! I will make every effort to share a lot more over the next few months.

In the meantime, let me know in the comments what else I can share with you about life in the Finger Lakes or a move like this! Happy to share!

Thanks for reading!

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

Contact

  • caincarol@gmail.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

My recent post inspired many people who kindly rea My recent post inspired many people who kindly reached out to me for words of wisdom and guidance on how “they, too,” can get their lives more together.

Here’s what I will say: for more than a year now, I have experienced disappointment with work I was committed to and the overall devaluation of what so many of us creatives do, and it started impacting the passion I had for my work, which, as a creative, can be a massive death sentence. I found myself soft quitting, quitting-quitting, having contracts end that I was eager to let go of, and others that I didn’t think I wanted to let go - but that in the end resulted in an incredible boost to my emotional and mental health. 

For so many, our prof success has so long defined us. It defines how ppl receive us, esp as Black and brown ppl, especially as women, how society values us, and, to some extent, how we view ourselves. But that was breaking me. I was working harder, longer, and more intensely without significant reward or recognition. Not just in one job, but in so much.

To overcome this, I sought something completely disconnected from my current work but still requiring focus, commitment, and skill. 

And slowly, I started finding myself again. Being selective means fewer selections, which means less money. It is, in the end, a choice. One that comes with its struggles. 

I absolutely admire the people with whom I partner today. My family is figuring out the money thing; we found the loss of joy too great to ever sacrifice again. Today, I am proud to work with some real kick-ass people. It’s reinvigorated my creativity. And I absolutely LOVE owning a mobile cafe. Not because it’s a massive money maker (it’s not), but because of the people I meet every time we serve. Running two businesses is not for the faint of heart, but I am so incredibly fulfilled.

I don’t do sad well. But I have experienced it all. And very much so recently. And my recent post is me on the other side of it. And I wanted all of you inspired by it to know I have been going through it. So if you are still where I was, let the glimpse behind my curtain be what keeps you going. Even the night ends at sunrise.
Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I lov Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I love it here so much. 🥰

I’m embracing new life experiences and opportunities with excitement and anticipation. I was stuck for so long, convinced it’s where I needed to be, but change, it turns out, has been exactly what I have needed…though I will admit I have been nervous about it. 

All this to say, sometimes we get stuck in situations that have long stopped making us happy, maybe because it’s easier to stay, or you’ve convinced yourself it’s where you should be, and it can be hard to walk away, especially if you’ve invested so much of yourself in the process. Ugh. The shit we tolerate when we stop listening to the little voice yelling at us that it’s time to MOVE ON. And sometimes, we don’t. Sometimes we have to be pushed. 

But, if the opportunity to break free comes, even if inconvenient, TAKE IT.  RUN. Because, as a wise teenager once said, YOLO. 

Trust in the fact that you’re pretty f❤️cking awesome, and things have a way of working themselves out. Trust that life is more interesting with the bumps along the way and that your final destination isn’t at the bottom, even if you might find yourself there for a moment. 

It’s a fun ride not because it’s always easy, but because of how much cooler things are when you’ve overcome the hard bits.
My wildflower field is reminding me of an importan My wildflower field is reminding me of an important trait: patience. So much in my life right now feels out of my control. I am experiencing a massive shift and uneasiness, and things I want to happen are so slow and feel like they are not happening at all. It is very unsettling and frustrating. 

But this was also my garden. The blooms weren’t blooming. It felt like they were never going to come. Like it would skip us this year. And I was sad at the thought that for reasons outside of my control, regardless of everything we did to tend to this garden, we would just not get the results we’d hope for. 

But this morning, I woke up, and there they were. The first few flowers. Colorful and bright, with bumblebees dancing around them. And when I looked closer, I saw so many more buds waiting to burst open. 

It all needed time. Not the time I gave them, or expected, but what was necessary. 

And so things may not happen as we wish they would, when we wish they could, but they will. We just have to be patient and trust the process. Easier said than done, I know. But, at least I have a beautiful flowering garden to admire while I wait.
Today was about beautiful baby niece, family, and Today was about beautiful baby niece, family, and cute ducks all named “Ducky”. 👧🏻🐣🍨

📍The Spotted Duck, Penn Yan, NY
Life gets so busy and stressful sometimes that I f Life gets so busy and stressful sometimes that I forget I have so much to heal my soul and relax me right at my finger tips…

I get what it is to be from the big city and not being able to imagine a life so beautiful anywhere else. It certainly was me. 

And then, I came to the Finger Lakes…and the rest is history. 

#fingerlakesregion #newyork
Sometimes you just gotta walk it off. Lucky me, I Sometimes you just gotta walk it off. Lucky me, I get to do so here. 

#fingerlakes #newyork

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