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June 20, 2011

You would love to travel, but…

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Let’s face it. The truth is that you would love to travel but you can’t. I know that it may seem that a lot of us travel writers are disconnected from that reality that is the so called “average person’s” life. For many of us, the idea that someone won’t travel is so foreign and so unthinkable that it sometimes makes us dust off our little pedestal of righteousness, which only further lifts us away from the circumstances of people today.

We don’t often realize that in our efforts to share the world with readers, we tend to alienate a lot of people who truly don’t have the circumstances to support such ideas. In other words, in our efforts to share where we’ve been, we fail to inspire others to go there.

We forget that aside from sharing great pictures and going on and on about the exotic locale and food, our true role as writers is to bring in our readers in such a way that they will lift their heads (and spirits) from their desk, and use that limited spending or tax refund and once-a-year given vacation time to go where we were.

Not everyone can or wants to luxury travel or backpack or take a trip around the world. Those are all amazing and there are some very talented writers sharing those experiences, but if you read those stories and they don’t motivate you, it doesn’t mean you have to give up on travel all together.

For the value of travel is not so much about the distance of the destination, but rather about the experiences and memories you build in the places you go.

My darling friend Spencer Spellman, The Traveling Philosopher, made a really strong argument for travel and talked about how it has improved his life.

I will say that I feel the same way. Traveling more has definitely enriched my life and that of my children. Traveling has a way of affecting a person’s perspective. The generalizations we grow up with or build in our minds over time, things we seem so sure of and think we know so well, are challenged and broken down when we travel. If you open your mind to it and take the time to reflect on where you are and the people around you, traveling can change you through self-reflection.

But I remember when I couldn’t travel. Some may argue that you can’t because you don’t want to, but I would say that I always wanted to travel, but had other priorities in my life that took precedence. As a matter of fact, I have priorities in my life still that will often trump my plans for traveling, and there is nothing wrong with having those, nor should we be made to feel bad about them.

I chose to finish college rather than travel overseas for months and months. My college degree served me well. It provided me with great paying jobs, which in turn has armed me with invaluable professional experience that are profitable to me even to this day.

I chose to have a baby and take a year off from work with the money I had saved up to backpack across Europe. In exchange, I have a beautiful 13 year old boy whom I adore, and who continuously teaches me something new about myself and life.

Recently, I chose to use money we had saved up for a West Coast family road trip to move my family to a bigger, better place.

I make choices like these all the time. It doesn’t mean I don’t love to travel, it doesn’t mean I don’t value its worth, it just means that I am fortunate to have a full enough life where there are many other things I cherish and value and complete me and most importantly, make me happy as well.

But, I want you to travel. I want you to take those few vacations days or long-weekend days you have off, take the family, and go somewhere, maybe not every time, but once in awhile. I know that people in our industry make it seem sometimes that if it’s not somewhere far and exotic, it doesn’t count. But that’s not true. Even when I don’t go to places far and exotic, I have benefited from incredibly enriching experiences and have met countless of interesting people in my travels.

Go anywhere, get in the car, pick a place only a couple of hours away, stay over night – just go and open yourself up to that experience, away from your every day life, and what that can mean for you and your family.

Little, shorter trips have this way of making the passion for bigger, more ambitious trips come to life. I started road tripping with my children to nearby places. Short trips – one hour, two hours away. We did those enough times that we’ve gone as far as Texas by car, and have plans to go even further. Same with plane rides.

The point is to just go. If I still seem out of touch with your reality, let me leave you with a glimpse of mine:

My mother loved to travel so, so much, she worked as a travel agent as her first real job. Back then, travel agents used to take trips to almost every place they would promote and sale to clients. My mother went everywhere it seemed. She would sit me and my brother down and share many stories of her trips. I would get lost in the images in my mind over her tales. She instilled in me, just through her stories, the love for travel.

She was a single mom who learned English later in life, and got a college degree even much later than that. She worked other jobs which helped support her family, but not her dream to travel. She always spoke of traveling when she retired and was diligent in saving her money to do so. But before she had a chance, she became ill and died of breast cancer.

The saying, “Life is short” is one I can relate to all too well. So I ask you, how will you live yours?

For further, real-life inspiration from travelers who had a dream and made it come true, check out my friend Heather Greenwood Davis at GlobetrottingMama.com and read about how her husband and her planned for years to make their family’s round the world dream a reality.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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14 Comments
  • Candace @ NaturallyE
    June 20, 2011

    Very true! When we were still childfree, we took a lot of "exotic" trips. Our friends would say they "wished" they "could" take trips like us. But we drove used cars and didn't buy pricey electronics. We chose to spend our money traveling.

    Now, travel is a lot more expensive for us because of the kids…but we do try to take smaller, more local trips whenever we can.

    Life *is* short.

    As my husband's grandfather used to sing, "Enjoy yourself, it's later than you think…"

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Candace @ NaturallyE
      June 20, 2011

      I agree Candace – It changes but doesn't have to go away completely. I love what your grandfather said. Great, great point!

      Reply
  • Jen
    June 20, 2011

    This is a fabulous post and everything is so true. My family loves to travel so we make choices in our lives to facilitate that travel. Right now I am sitting on a couch so old that the cushion quickly sinks in as soon as you sit in it. We make sacrifices to travel and other times we sacrifice our travels for medical bills, summer camp payments, or the busted washing machine that must be replaced. It is all about choices and when I sacrifice travel plans for something else, I make sure that we are exploring free activities in our city or neighboring towns!

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Jen
      June 20, 2011

      So true Jen!!! I hear ya!

      Reply
  • Natalia
    June 20, 2011

    Great post! Even though we have made travel one of the priorities in our family life – we even moved from Australia to the UK to facilitate this – and I honestly believe it is a huge benefit for our son (as well as a lot of fun!) sometimes I find travel blogs are exactly as you wrote:

    'We don’t often realize that in our efforts to share the world with readers, we tend to alienate a lot of people who truly don’t have the circumstances to support such ideas.'

    We are not in a situation to give up careers and travel full time, which is often implied as the real way to travel. We don't really want to either. For some travel is the main or only priority, for us it is but one of a few, and we have only so much in the way of time and money to devote to everything.

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Natalia
      June 20, 2011

      Absolutely Natalia. Our lives are often full of more riches than one, and we tend to want to give attention to them all at some point or another. The ability to travel, anywhere, even if just once a year, is a gift in itself, but so are the many other things we give value to in our lives. The point is to keep it on the list of things we should try to do : )

      Reply
  • Carolyn O'Donne
    June 20, 2011

    Just reinforces one of my favorite Mark Twain quotes: "Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry and narrow mindedness."

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Carolyn O'Donne
      June 20, 2011

      I love that quote Carolyn –and it's so, so true!

      Reply
  • Spencer Spellman
    June 20, 2011

    Great write-up Carol and thanks for the mention. I agree whole-heartedly with everything. Especially the point of just "going". You don't have to get on a plane to travel. Find a part of your state, region, country…hell, even your own city; then circle it on a map, go, and explore it. If you can go to another country, then great, go (Believe me, going to other cultures offers experiences that traveling domestically doesn't offer), but don't choose NOT to travel because you feel like you have to get on a plane. I REALLY want our country to embrace it because we don't. I have family members that have never even been out of their own county. In many other countries, people are all but required to use up ALL of their vacation days and are even urged to travel by their employers. This is because they see the benefit of travel. Employers see employees who come back and are refreshed, focused, and better employees.

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Spencer Spellman
      June 20, 2011

      I agree Spencer with all you said and with the fact that our country doesn't travel enough. I also think though that our industry, especially that of the travel publications, travel writers and travel bloggers, have failed in sending the message that it IS attainable and possible. I myself don't read a lot of travel blogs because I really cannot related…and I am in it! We can help change the mindset of our culture, but we first have to remember who it is we are writing for. If we want people to NOT feel like traveling is just for the rIch and child-free, than we need to write to others BESIDES the rich and child free. If that's your audience, then that's fine, but with so many of us pursuing those top-notch far away destinations attainable to only a few how can we complain that so many in our countries won't travel? And I have to say, there aren't too many of us trying to do that out there. We can make a difference, but too many of us are caught up in our own worlds to realize it. Our job is to inspire, not brag and only when we learn to do this more often and better, than can we really affect people enough to make them take the chance on an adventure.

      Reply
  • Spencer Spellman
    June 20, 2011

    Well put Carol. It's definitely made me rethink how and why I write. Nothing against magazines like Travel + Leisure, CN Traveler, and National Geographic, but these are some of the biggest magazines and the ones that people read, so it should really come as no surprise when they read these articles and they would have to put out another mortgage to travel to these exotic places. But on the contrary, you have these super budget backpacker and independent publications and blogs. So what's missing is that middle ground.

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Spencer Spellman
      June 20, 2011

      Yes, I think that is a role worth taking on.

      Reply
  • Bicultural Mama
    June 20, 2011

    Nice piece, Carol. I, too, love to travel. We use to take international trips every year pre-baby and when I held a corporate job (A.k.a. steady income). Now we just travel when we need to (weddings, visit grandparents, etc.). However, I know my husband and I were lucky enough to do what we did, when we did, and one day we'll be able to do more traveling when our daughter is older. Savor the experiences we had!

    Reply
    • Carol Cain
      Bicultural Mama
      June 20, 2011

      Thanks Bicultural Mama! And remember, traveling with kids is a beautiful experience too!

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

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  • caincarol@gmail.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

My recent post inspired many people who kindly rea My recent post inspired many people who kindly reached out to me for words of wisdom and guidance on how “they, too,” can get their lives more together.

Here’s what I will say: for more than a year now, I have experienced disappointment with work I was committed to and the overall devaluation of what so many of us creatives do, and it started impacting the passion I had for my work, which, as a creative, can be a massive death sentence. I found myself soft quitting, quitting-quitting, having contracts end that I was eager to let go of, and others that I didn’t think I wanted to let go - but that in the end resulted in an incredible boost to my emotional and mental health. 

For so many, our prof success has so long defined us. It defines how ppl receive us, esp as Black and brown ppl, especially as women, how society values us, and, to some extent, how we view ourselves. But that was breaking me. I was working harder, longer, and more intensely without significant reward or recognition. Not just in one job, but in so much.

To overcome this, I sought something completely disconnected from my current work but still requiring focus, commitment, and skill. 

And slowly, I started finding myself again. Being selective means fewer selections, which means less money. It is, in the end, a choice. One that comes with its struggles. 

I absolutely admire the people with whom I partner today. My family is figuring out the money thing; we found the loss of joy too great to ever sacrifice again. Today, I am proud to work with some real kick-ass people. It’s reinvigorated my creativity. And I absolutely LOVE owning a mobile cafe. Not because it’s a massive money maker (it’s not), but because of the people I meet every time we serve. Running two businesses is not for the faint of heart, but I am so incredibly fulfilled.

I don’t do sad well. But I have experienced it all. And very much so recently. And my recent post is me on the other side of it. And I wanted all of you inspired by it to know I have been going through it. So if you are still where I was, let the glimpse behind my curtain be what keeps you going. Even the night ends at sunrise.
Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I lov Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I love it here so much. 🥰

I’m embracing new life experiences and opportunities with excitement and anticipation. I was stuck for so long, convinced it’s where I needed to be, but change, it turns out, has been exactly what I have needed…though I will admit I have been nervous about it. 

All this to say, sometimes we get stuck in situations that have long stopped making us happy, maybe because it’s easier to stay, or you’ve convinced yourself it’s where you should be, and it can be hard to walk away, especially if you’ve invested so much of yourself in the process. Ugh. The shit we tolerate when we stop listening to the little voice yelling at us that it’s time to MOVE ON. And sometimes, we don’t. Sometimes we have to be pushed. 

But, if the opportunity to break free comes, even if inconvenient, TAKE IT.  RUN. Because, as a wise teenager once said, YOLO. 

Trust in the fact that you’re pretty f❤️cking awesome, and things have a way of working themselves out. Trust that life is more interesting with the bumps along the way and that your final destination isn’t at the bottom, even if you might find yourself there for a moment. 

It’s a fun ride not because it’s always easy, but because of how much cooler things are when you’ve overcome the hard bits.
My wildflower field is reminding me of an importan My wildflower field is reminding me of an important trait: patience. So much in my life right now feels out of my control. I am experiencing a massive shift and uneasiness, and things I want to happen are so slow and feel like they are not happening at all. It is very unsettling and frustrating. 

But this was also my garden. The blooms weren’t blooming. It felt like they were never going to come. Like it would skip us this year. And I was sad at the thought that for reasons outside of my control, regardless of everything we did to tend to this garden, we would just not get the results we’d hope for. 

But this morning, I woke up, and there they were. The first few flowers. Colorful and bright, with bumblebees dancing around them. And when I looked closer, I saw so many more buds waiting to burst open. 

It all needed time. Not the time I gave them, or expected, but what was necessary. 

And so things may not happen as we wish they would, when we wish they could, but they will. We just have to be patient and trust the process. Easier said than done, I know. But, at least I have a beautiful flowering garden to admire while I wait.
Today was about beautiful baby niece, family, and Today was about beautiful baby niece, family, and cute ducks all named “Ducky”. 👧🏻🐣🍨

📍The Spotted Duck, Penn Yan, NY
Life gets so busy and stressful sometimes that I f Life gets so busy and stressful sometimes that I forget I have so much to heal my soul and relax me right at my finger tips…

I get what it is to be from the big city and not being able to imagine a life so beautiful anywhere else. It certainly was me. 

And then, I came to the Finger Lakes…and the rest is history. 

#fingerlakesregion #newyork
Sometimes you just gotta walk it off. Lucky me, I Sometimes you just gotta walk it off. Lucky me, I get to do so here. 

#fingerlakes #newyork

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