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May 26, 2012

Americans Live to Work…And How That Fails Us

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A news story released on CBS This Morning of an interview Dr. Ian Smith, author of the book “Happy: Simple Steps for Getting The Most Out of Life” over a survey linking wellness and happiness as a result of vacation.  Dr. Smith points out that Americans get the least vacation time, about 14 days on average compared to France and the UK which get about 30 days. Yet still, despite our constant lament for more time off, less than 57% of Americans take their vacation time, failing to use the little time we are already given. Having lived and traveled in different parts of the world, especially in Caribbean countries and Europe, I can attest to our biggest downfall being our mindset – our need to live to work, as opposed to work to live.

One of the things that I love about European cultures, such as Italy and France for example, is that the interest in “what you do” relates more to your passions outside of the office – do you paint or play music or write poetry? I remember moving back to the States after a short stint in Italy and being shocked with Americans’ eagerness to know what it is I did for a living – some even wondering if what I did paid well.

Even now, as a blogger living my passion, people on both sides – agency and within the blogging community – want to know: do I make money blogging? And HOW do I make money blogging? And is it enough?

Enough. Enough being measured in the value of dollars, as opposed to my quality of life and overall happiness.

When I left my job working in public relations 6 years ago, I made $65,000 a year. Not bad for someone who wasn’t in any type of managerial or director position – those people make well over $100,000 a year today, at least in the field I worked in. But I had no “life”. I literally went to work, came home, ate, slept, worked some more. I was often too tired to “play” and vacation time was limited, though I had a tendency to use the combined sick and paid time off as vacation which often forced me to come to work with fevers if needed. I did so because traveling was THAT important to me.

In this life, as a blogger, I make enough money to help support some trips for my family and myself. The money I make supplements the lifestyle. I am not focused on my career per say, as much as I am focused on the experiences we have as a family. It requires a lot of sacrifices and doing without a lot of things most people would consider symbols of success and financial strength.

As we have gotten older my husband and I have learned a very important lesson – even after working so many years to build a professional career for ourselves, even after having invested so much money in graduate degrees and other programs that would further enhance our education – personal happiness is really all that matters, and it turns out, personal happiness is most often found away from the cubicle. And though having the funds to stay afloat and not feel as if you are struggling for your next meal definitely has an impact on your happiness, a lot of times our ideas of what we need don’t correlate with the realities of what will make us happy.

Dr. Smith mentions as well that most Americans work hard because they are so focused on their personal image and how others will view them. We are programmed, as a culture, to be valued based on our efforts and hard work. I won’t deny that these things are important to me as well. I want to be regarded as someone who works hard for what she earns, but I will admit that as I get older I am caring less and less how I am “regarded” and more and more to how I “feel” and what I do with my time with my family, with my husband, with my life. When I die, my hope is that my children will remember the laughs we had together and the adventures we took on. I want my legacy to be that of a person who lived her life to the fullest and inspired in others the courage to do the same.

Take that vacation time. The work will still be there when you get back. Don’t live to work – because when you are gone, someone else will still be doing the work in your place. The only thing that is truly worth anything, the only thing that can never be replaced is the life you lead. The memories you built with your children, your partner, your friends. The thing that makes people remember you most, with smile on their faces, is how you made them laugh, how you made them feel. Work to live the joy of life, to experience it yourself and to share it with others.

Live your passion, work on your dreams. Do what you must to pay the bills, feed the family, but remember you are given but so much time to make the most of this gift, this journey – how will you spend it?

Be kind. Be generous. Be fair. Be honest. Be considerate. Be happy.

Doctors may not be able to prescribe vacation days, as the CBS story discusses, but we should empower ourselves to taking them. We should empower ourselves to live the dream, if only for 3-4 weeks a year.

Go. Have an adventure. You deserve it.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, close to home or farther away. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and CEO of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications management, and brand development agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She splits her time between her homes in New Jersey and Finger Lakes.

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7 Comments
  • Alma Pacheco
    May 26, 2012

    Carol,

    Thanks for this response to that report. After I lost my job in November I realized that I was working way to hard and I was not enjoying my life and missed my kids. Now have chosen to be at home with the kids and enjoy life more. We have also chosen to take an adventure for at least a year and rent out our apartment in Brooklyn and move to Savannah , GA. After 13 years of living in a one bedroom with office apartment coop in Park Slope I have made the decision to walk away for a little while. I want my kids to have a back yard and play with kids in the neighborhood and enjoy a simpler life.I started my blog to document our new experience and our trip.

    You are right people need to take their days and enjoy them. I confess I got so caught up in my work that it became my life. Now I feel like I have one and did away with the excess in our lives.

    Much love to you and hope you have a great weekend!

    Reply
  • Stesha
    May 26, 2012

    This summer we're planning a list of family adventures. The majority of our fun will be locally, but the difference is that we will ALL enjoy it. There was a time I couldn't get my husband to take an hour off from work, but now he sees that he's missing out on the quality of his family life. Life is too short, we have to enjoy each fleeting second.

    Hugs and Mocha,

    Stesha

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    May 26, 2012

    @ Alma Pacheco:

    Good For you Alma! We never know what's going to work for us, but at least we can live to say we tried. Good luck to you on your journey! So exciting!!!

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    May 26, 2012

    @ Stesha:

    Stesha – Enjoy every second! Good for your also for recognizing that great adventures can be had close to home as well. So happy for you and your family to be able to take this time together : )

    Reply
  • Bicultural Mama
    May 31, 2012

    So true what you're saying. I wish the culture of America regarding work and play would be more like those in Europe where they work to play, not live to work. I just came back from a much needed vacation and it brought my family closer together. There's no price for that!

    Reply
  • Jim
    April 22, 2016

    I applaud you for your wonderful attitude about work/life balance. For many years I’ve been saying that I have yet to hear of the person who said on their deathbed, “I wish I had spent less time with my family and more time at work.”

    Additionally, probably the biggest reason Americans find it so hard to make ends meet, is that they spend so much money needlessly. Do you really need a brand new Lexus, when a used Chevy can do the task just as well? Do you really need a six bedroom house, when you only have two kids? Do you really need to upgrade your iPhone every time a new model comes out? My dad was fond of saying that you can’t live a steak and wine life on a beer and hamburger paycheck.

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Jim
      April 22, 2016

      Thank you Jim! I completely agree!!!

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am a communications professional, an award-winning travel blogger, a public speaker, CEO of a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency, a wife, and a mom of 3 sons and 2 puppies. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading!

Carol Cain

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