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May 26, 2012

Americans Live to Work…And How That Fails Us

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A news story released on CBS This Morning of an interview Dr. Ian Smith, author of the book “Happy: Simple Steps for Getting The Most Out of Life” over a survey linking wellness and happiness as a result of vacation.  Dr. Smith points out that Americans get the least vacation time, about 14 days on average compared to France and the UK which get about 30 days. Yet still, despite our constant lament for more time off, less than 57% of Americans take their vacation time, failing to use the little time we are already given. Having lived and traveled in different parts of the world, especially in Caribbean countries and Europe, I can attest to our biggest downfall being our mindset – our need to live to work, as opposed to work to live.

One of the things that I love about European cultures, such as Italy and France for example, is that the interest in “what you do” relates more to your passions outside of the office – do you paint or play music or write poetry? I remember moving back to the States after a short stint in Italy and being shocked with Americans’ eagerness to know what it is I did for a living – some even wondering if what I did paid well.

Even now, as a blogger living my passion, people on both sides – agency and within the blogging community – want to know: do I make money blogging? And HOW do I make money blogging? And is it enough?

Enough. Enough being measured in the value of dollars, as opposed to my quality of life and overall happiness.

When I left my job working in public relations 6 years ago, I made $65,000 a year. Not bad for someone who wasn’t in any type of managerial or director position – those people make well over $100,000 a year today, at least in the field I worked in. But I had no “life”. I literally went to work, came home, ate, slept, worked some more. I was often too tired to “play” and vacation time was limited, though I had a tendency to use the combined sick and paid time off as vacation which often forced me to come to work with fevers if needed. I did so because traveling was THAT important to me.

In this life, as a blogger, I make enough money to help support some trips for my family and myself. The money I make supplements the lifestyle. I am not focused on my career per say, as much as I am focused on the experiences we have as a family. It requires a lot of sacrifices and doing without a lot of things most people would consider symbols of success and financial strength.

As we have gotten older my husband and I have learned a very important lesson – even after working so many years to build a professional career for ourselves, even after having invested so much money in graduate degrees and other programs that would further enhance our education – personal happiness is really all that matters, and it turns out, personal happiness is most often found away from the cubicle. And though having the funds to stay afloat and not feel as if you are struggling for your next meal definitely has an impact on your happiness, a lot of times our ideas of what we need don’t correlate with the realities of what will make us happy.

Dr. Smith mentions as well that most Americans work hard because they are so focused on their personal image and how others will view them. We are programmed, as a culture, to be valued based on our efforts and hard work. I won’t deny that these things are important to me as well. I want to be regarded as someone who works hard for what she earns, but I will admit that as I get older I am caring less and less how I am “regarded” and more and more to how I “feel” and what I do with my time with my family, with my husband, with my life. When I die, my hope is that my children will remember the laughs we had together and the adventures we took on. I want my legacy to be that of a person who lived her life to the fullest and inspired in others the courage to do the same.

Take that vacation time. The work will still be there when you get back. Don’t live to work – because when you are gone, someone else will still be doing the work in your place. The only thing that is truly worth anything, the only thing that can never be replaced is the life you lead. The memories you built with your children, your partner, your friends. The thing that makes people remember you most, with smile on their faces, is how you made them laugh, how you made them feel. Work to live the joy of life, to experience it yourself and to share it with others.

Live your passion, work on your dreams. Do what you must to pay the bills, feed the family, but remember you are given but so much time to make the most of this gift, this journey – how will you spend it?

Be kind. Be generous. Be fair. Be honest. Be considerate. Be happy.

Doctors may not be able to prescribe vacation days, as the CBS story discusses, but we should empower ourselves to taking them. We should empower ourselves to live the dream, if only for 3-4 weeks a year.

Go. Have an adventure. You deserve it.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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7 Comments
  • Alma Pacheco
    May 26, 2012

    Carol,

    Thanks for this response to that report. After I lost my job in November I realized that I was working way to hard and I was not enjoying my life and missed my kids. Now have chosen to be at home with the kids and enjoy life more. We have also chosen to take an adventure for at least a year and rent out our apartment in Brooklyn and move to Savannah , GA. After 13 years of living in a one bedroom with office apartment coop in Park Slope I have made the decision to walk away for a little while. I want my kids to have a back yard and play with kids in the neighborhood and enjoy a simpler life.I started my blog to document our new experience and our trip.

    You are right people need to take their days and enjoy them. I confess I got so caught up in my work that it became my life. Now I feel like I have one and did away with the excess in our lives.

    Much love to you and hope you have a great weekend!

    Reply
  • Stesha
    May 26, 2012

    This summer we're planning a list of family adventures. The majority of our fun will be locally, but the difference is that we will ALL enjoy it. There was a time I couldn't get my husband to take an hour off from work, but now he sees that he's missing out on the quality of his family life. Life is too short, we have to enjoy each fleeting second.

    Hugs and Mocha,

    Stesha

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    May 26, 2012

    @ Alma Pacheco:

    Good For you Alma! We never know what's going to work for us, but at least we can live to say we tried. Good luck to you on your journey! So exciting!!!

    Reply
  • Carol Cain
    May 26, 2012

    @ Stesha:

    Stesha – Enjoy every second! Good for your also for recognizing that great adventures can be had close to home as well. So happy for you and your family to be able to take this time together : )

    Reply
  • Bicultural Mama
    May 31, 2012

    So true what you're saying. I wish the culture of America regarding work and play would be more like those in Europe where they work to play, not live to work. I just came back from a much needed vacation and it brought my family closer together. There's no price for that!

    Reply
  • Jim
    April 22, 2016

    I applaud you for your wonderful attitude about work/life balance. For many years I’ve been saying that I have yet to hear of the person who said on their deathbed, “I wish I had spent less time with my family and more time at work.”

    Additionally, probably the biggest reason Americans find it so hard to make ends meet, is that they spend so much money needlessly. Do you really need a brand new Lexus, when a used Chevy can do the task just as well? Do you really need a six bedroom house, when you only have two kids? Do you really need to upgrade your iPhone every time a new model comes out? My dad was fond of saying that you can’t live a steak and wine life on a beer and hamburger paycheck.

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Jim
      April 22, 2016

      Thank you Jim! I completely agree!!!

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

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Barista training = Trial by fire. 🔥 This is the Barista training = Trial by fire. 🔥 This is the way. 

@shellyk_025 @the_garage_at_rye 

#baristalife #barista #coffeeislife
Woke up feeling rested after going, going, going f Woke up feeling rested after going, going, going for over a week…and grateful for the privilege that is living in such a beautiful region. There are so many points of access for relaxation and stillness here, including right outside my door. So before delving into the work day, I took a peaceful walk, stopped for brekkie (thanks, @ellasacreshomestead), and continued the day refreshed.

If 10 years ago…or even 5 years ago…you had told THIS Brooklyn girl that she would find joy living full time in rural NY, I would’ve laughed in your face. And while NYC will always be home and #1 in my heart, as I live through my 3rd year here, I have to say…yeah. I get it. 

#fingerlakes #newyork #citygirlinthecountry
When your bestie is also your boss and you share s When your bestie is also your boss and you share shifts at your barista jobs it’s easy to forget it’s WORK…☕️😅❤️ 

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#fingerlakes #baristalife #workbestie
A moment of zen, Finger Lakes edition. #citygirl A moment of zen, Finger Lakes edition. 

#citygirlupstate #upstatenewyork #fingerlakesnewyork
Love coffee as much as I do? Here is my (very, ver Love coffee as much as I do? Here is my (very, very) short list of fave coffee shops, from Manhattan to Brooklyn. 

I spend A LOT of time at coffee shops…whether in my job as a barista or during my free time exploring endless cafes during my travels, but especially around NYC and the Finger Lakes. These are the most noteworthy cafes I find myself returning to again and again in New York City.

📍@conwellcoffeehall in the old Life and Trust Building in the Financial District. An epic space, great brekkie and coffee, brought to you by the same folks of Sleep No More…who (separately but in the same space) offer similar interactive-style performances we know them for, this time revisiting the age of old money, big banks, and the stock market crash collapse of 1929.
📍The @bookclubbar is a bar, book store, and coffee shop in the East Village. Cozy, with outdoor seating, and a wonderful selection of books, booze, and brews. Very few people get all of these elements to work well. They nail it.
📍The @plantshednyc in the East Village. Airy space with a beautiful selection of flowers and plants, and big, bright windows whereby to enjoy your cafe choice. 
📍@DawnsTillDusk in Dumbo is a cafe by day and wine bar by night. It’s a Yes to both for me!
📍@Usaginy in Dumbo is an art gallery, with small bookstore and gift shop, and cafe…but their in-house freshly made onigiri is 😘👌🏾
📍@pplnyc in Williamsburg is rustic, and pretty, and cute…and yeah, the coffee’s good!
📍@bluebrown_nyc in Williamsburg stole my heart when I first visited last year on my birthday. I love the vibe of this community cafe and the creativity they bring to their pastries and drinks.
📍@Devocionusa (anywhere), though my local spot is Dumbo. I love that they are all about the coffee…and just the coffee. No fancy, trends here. Come for the impeccable coffee, and delicious pastries, and cool vibes. But mostly, the coffee.

This list doesn’t even make a dent on my long list of cafes but they are the highlights. Share your fave spots in the comments! ☕️

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This is your reminder to PLAY. No matter your age. This is your reminder to PLAY. No matter your age. Play. Play with your partner. Play with your adult friends. Play with your kids, even the adult ones. Play with strangers. The world can be cruel and hard and deflating. So, when the opportunity comes…and even if you need a nudge from your loved ones…give your heart, soul, and mind a reprieve and play. 

Today me and mine played at the Keff Joons pop-up in Dumbo, Brooklyn. This is @cj_hendry latest art installation where they transformed a Brooklyn warehouse into balloon-filled dreamscape and playground for all. There is no fee and the earlier you arrive the shorter the wait. Once inside you become one with the art in a fun and dramatic way. But hurry! The installation is only up till April 20th! 

📍50 Gold Street, Brooklyn, NY

#nycart #artpopup #brooklynny #funinnyc #thingstodoinnyc

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