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February 14, 2014

Social Media and The Threat of Assumption on Our Brands

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Today I made a phone call that I have wanted to make for about a year. I called a blogger whom I had been a total jerk to, and whom I had hurt with my words, and apologized. I took full responsibility for my words and my actions, acknowledged how they didn’t deserve to be treated that way and most certainly did not deserve for me to treat them that way. I wasn’t expecting that they would accept my apology, much less that they would ask that we continue our friendship, but I was fortunate in getting both.

For me, acknowledging my bad behavior and wrong doing was essential in my journey to being a better person in life. I am OK with having people disagree with me, see me as someone who has strong opinions that they might not agree with, and even be a bit too much for them due to my strong personality. But what I never want to be remembered as or thought as is as someone who is cruel. That’s not to say that I will please everyone. There are people out there who will still see me as a jerk, and they might even be right. But when I can and where I feel I’ve behaved poorly, I have the responsibility to make it right.

What does all this have to do with social media and the threat of assumption on our brands?

Well, though my actions were more personal than they were professional, what motivated my bad behavior in the first place was my allowing myself to be influenced by gossip and comments from other people who 1) didn’t know the person that I did and 2) were more than happy to spread rumors based on assumptions that had nothing to do with our relationship. The reason it was so easy to be influenced was because our relationship was still new…and I was still learning myself. Don’t get me wrong, I take full responsibility for my actions, but allowing myself to get caught up in what others said, as opposed to giving us the chance to get to know each other, was an epic failure on our friendship and on my character.

I see this all the time in the business of blogging. I hear things about people whom I respect, brands whom I’ve gotten to know both on a professional and more personal level, and on issues where information and details are privy to only those closely involved. Often times exclusion, insecurities, ego, entitlement, and/or jealousy are the culprit. That feeling of being left out, or being overlook, of not being a part of something, tends to bring the worst in people.

One tidbit of information, whether true or not, can be used in efforts to enrage, discredit, devalue, or distract from a greater good.

My friend, and I am incredibly fortunate to still call them that, accepted my apology and our continued friendship. But you might not be so lucky when it comes to your work. When I think about the percentage of jobs I have gotten from recommendations of others, as opposed to statistics, awards, or online popularity, I am reminded of how important how we behave online, who we associate with, and how we express ourselves is.

The truth is that nothing in social media is ever really a secret, not even in secret groups or private chat rooms. People/businesses/brands may not comment or react, but we are all watching. And social media, because it’s so social, is all about word of mouth, forming partnerships and building relationships with people whom you can trust, whom you consider to be fair, and who have the strength of character. More and more these are the things that influence the decisions of whether brands will work with you and bloggers will refer you.

I am one of very strong opinions, and I am sure that at one point or another I have managed to turn someone off or miss an opportunity because of it. But as a professional, it is also in my best interest to be careful in how I approach information. If I am truly concerned or annoyed, I go straight to the source – or at least have learned to – before publicly expressing my opinion.

On a personal note, my actions with my friend hurt me deeply. I was ashamed and angry. I don’t know what I lost in allowing myself to get caught up in gossip, misrepresentation, and assumptions, but knowing this person, I believe I missed out on a lot.

As entrepreneurs and members of the social media community in general, we have to remember that our actions and words do more than hurt others, they can negatively impact our long-term goals and potential prospects. So before you speak up and speak out, if you must, then let it be on something you are truly informed about, and not assumptions based on half-truths. Because when it comes to your reputation and professional bottom line, you might not always get a second chance.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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10 Comments
  • Barbara P
    February 14, 2014

    Brava, Carol – hard to do, but right. Glad the outcome was what you wanted 🙂

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Barbara P
      February 14, 2014

      I am very lucky Barbara.

      Reply
  • Roni Faida
    February 14, 2014

    So glad you made the call (and didn't send an email or a text). But I'm just curious, what took you so long to make the call?

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Roni Faida
      February 14, 2014

      Easy. The same things that make it difficult to admit when you are wrong or have to say your sorry, ego, fear and lack of courage. It took a lot of self reflection, a lot of self loathing, and a lot of regret before i could get over it and do the right thing.

      Reply
      • Roni Faida
        caincarol
        February 14, 2014

        It can be hard to admit when you are wrong and it shows character that you were willing to. Glad it all worked out.
        My recent post Vaccinations Needed For Africa

        Reply
  • 5 Travel-Friendly Black Friday / Cyber Monday DealsChelle Roberts
    February 14, 2014

    Hey Carol,

    Sometime bridging that gap is one of the hardest things to do. I've lost friends because one or the other of us was either not willing to take the step or not willing to forgive when on the receiving end of the apology. But alas, we live and we grow, and when we let allow ourselves to learn from the lessons that come along, we're so much better for it.

    Here's to rekindling your friendship!

    <3 yah!

    My recent post 5 Travel-Friendly Black Friday / Cyber Monday Deals

    Reply
    • caincarol
      5 Travel-Friendly Black Friday / Cyber Monday DealsChelle Roberts
      February 19, 2014

      Thanks Chelle. So true! And cheers!

      Reply
  • Victoria
    February 16, 2014

    Well done for being the bigger person Carol as none of us are perfect. It takes courage to go back, admit you were wrong and to say “I’m sorry.”

    Reply
  • thebritishberliner
    February 19, 2014

    "Sorry" really is the hardest word but it takes courage to back down and admit that one is wrong. Good for you for taking the higher road.
    My recent post Hollywood comes to Berlin at the 64th Berlin International Film Festival: The Berlinale, 2014.

    Reply
    • caincarol
      thebritishberliner
      February 19, 2014

      Thank you.

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

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  • caincarol@gmail.com

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