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September 20, 2013

Too Old? The Follow Up & Answer

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Just yesterday, I wrote this. I will admit that I had pretty much started to give up, play that voice in my head of it’s not a big deal. My husband worried that I would draw negative feedback from “the industry”, asked if I had gotten any push back, if I had started to feel the impact of my actions – which was merely speaking out in frustration of a reality that affects so many of us in so many different ways but to a similar result.

I felt like a whiner. I felt lazy. (Do you know how many people are out there filming their own videos and have a gazillion YouTube followers and can rock the hell out of GoPro without breaking a sweat? A LOT. I suck at making my own videos…something about traveling with kids makes it so much harder for some reason. Go figure.)

Then I got the emails…which read a lot like the comments. Not only on the blog…but on my Facebook page…from strangers. And this, from one of my closest friends:

girlgonetravel

And as I pondered my next move, I came across this:

And it brought me back to what I wrote about here and I realized, as I often do after I throw myself a pity party, that it’s time to get to work. For people like me, for people like Lyin Landre and her project on Kickstarter (whom I will absolutely pledge my support for and you should too) and for the very many of us who have this massive hill to climb and humongous wall of stereotypes to break through.

My friend Kat said it best in her response to my post:

“I think all we can do is to keep fighting and to keep supporting fellow women in the business. And even more than fighting, there’s an attitude shift that has to happen.”

So, thank you for listening to my whining, and for wiping away my virtual tears. Sometimes, all we need is a good emotional cry. And I’m sorry for the misleading title. I don’t actually have the answer. But I do know that it’s time for me to get up, dust myself off, and charge forward.

Watch out world. Here I come.

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Carol Cain

Brooklyn native Carol is happiest when on an adventure, whether close to home or farther away. She is a small business owner and travel writer. In addition to creating Girl Gone Travel, she is the Founder and Principal of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. She's mom to three wonderful sons and wife to a handsome Irish/Scot. She lives, works, and plays in the beautiful Finger Lakes region of NY.

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10 Comments
  • Carolina
    September 20, 2013

    But you did provide the answer—to keep going forward. If there’s anyone that can change the game, it’s you Carol!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Carolina
      September 20, 2013

      Thank you Carolina! It's always such a encouraging thing to read how much you all believe in me, even when I don't so much in myself — if only for a moment : ))

      Reply
  • Barbara
    September 20, 2013

    You are very real, friend – and you share – so we see many sides of you, but like Issa – I know you can and will do the things you really want to do because you are passionate, talented and persistent :). Sometimes what we want changes – and I love that you can also share that part of life and not be afraid to question aloud. You have a great voice – and no one will ever silence it as long as you want to use it. Have a peaceful weekend!
    -B

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Barbara
      September 20, 2013

      Thank you so much Barbara! xoxo

      Reply
  • Gina M
    September 20, 2013

    Oooh! Shits about to get REAL! *Love it*!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Gina M
      September 20, 2013

      Hell yeahs it is!

      Reply
  • Nnennaya
    September 21, 2013

    Now that’s the spirit!!! Am a Nigeiran following you all the way from Nigeira! Now what does that say to you???? You have a VOICE that people listen to all over the world…even Africa! So please keep inspiring people like us who still have a ‘long way to go’ in building the travel/tourism industry in Africa. It’s your inspiration to stand out that inspires us! So GO CAROL!!;)

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Nnennaya
      September 21, 2013

      Thank you so much Nnennaya! Your support means so much!

      Reply
  • Maile
    September 22, 2013

    You can and are doing this! Continue to be You and speak Truth. We're listening and so many others should be!

    Reply
    • caincarol
      Maile
      September 22, 2013

      xoxoxoxoxox Thank you!

      Reply

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About me

Hi! I'm Carol! I am an award-winning travel blogger, a keynote speaker, and the Principal and owner of Brave World Media, a social media marketing, communications, and branding agency. I a wife to a handsome Irish/Scot and a mom to 3 sons. Welcome to my blog where I share stories of my travels and professional public relations insights and advice. Thank you for reading and for your support!

Carol Cain

Contact

  • caincarol@gmail.com

Follow @girlgonetravel

There’s a heat advisory that I missed before set There’s a heat advisory that I missed before setting out to do some outdoor photography today….but at least these are the views as I am melting. 📸 @toniiocain 

#fingerlakessummer
Sunday stroll and waterfalls. Sunday stroll and waterfalls.
Life lately. 😊 Life lately. 😊
My recent post inspired many people who kindly rea My recent post inspired many people who kindly reached out to me for words of wisdom and guidance on how “they, too,” can get their lives more together.

Here’s what I will say: for more than a year now, I have experienced disappointment with work I was committed to and the overall devaluation of what so many of us creatives do, and it started impacting the passion I had for my work, which, as a creative, can be a massive death sentence. I found myself soft quitting, quitting-quitting, having contracts end that I was eager to let go of, and others that I didn’t think I wanted to let go - but that in the end resulted in an incredible boost to my emotional and mental health. 

For so many, our prof success has so long defined us. It defines how ppl receive us, esp as Black and brown ppl, especially as women, how society values us, and, to some extent, how we view ourselves. But that was breaking me. I was working harder, longer, and more intensely without significant reward or recognition. Not just in one job, but in so much.

To overcome this, I sought something completely disconnected from my current work but still requiring focus, commitment, and skill. 

And slowly, I started finding myself again. Being selective means fewer selections, which means less money. It is, in the end, a choice. One that comes with its struggles. 

I absolutely admire the people with whom I partner today. My family is figuring out the money thing; we found the loss of joy too great to ever sacrifice again. Today, I am proud to work with some real kick-ass people. It’s reinvigorated my creativity. And I absolutely LOVE owning a mobile cafe. Not because it’s a massive money maker (it’s not), but because of the people I meet every time we serve. Running two businesses is not for the faint of heart, but I am so incredibly fulfilled.

I don’t do sad well. But I have experienced it all. And very much so recently. And my recent post is me on the other side of it. And I wanted all of you inspired by it to know I have been going through it. So if you are still where I was, let the glimpse behind my curtain be what keeps you going. Even the night ends at sunrise.
Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I lov Sunset glow in the nooks of our little home. I love it here so much. 🥰

I’m embracing new life experiences and opportunities with excitement and anticipation. I was stuck for so long, convinced it’s where I needed to be, but change, it turns out, has been exactly what I have needed…though I will admit I have been nervous about it. 

All this to say, sometimes we get stuck in situations that have long stopped making us happy, maybe because it’s easier to stay, or you’ve convinced yourself it’s where you should be, and it can be hard to walk away, especially if you’ve invested so much of yourself in the process. Ugh. The shit we tolerate when we stop listening to the little voice yelling at us that it’s time to MOVE ON. And sometimes, we don’t. Sometimes we have to be pushed. 

But, if the opportunity to break free comes, even if inconvenient, TAKE IT.  RUN. Because, as a wise teenager once said, YOLO. 

Trust in the fact that you’re pretty f❤️cking awesome, and things have a way of working themselves out. Trust that life is more interesting with the bumps along the way and that your final destination isn’t at the bottom, even if you might find yourself there for a moment. 

It’s a fun ride not because it’s always easy, but because of how much cooler things are when you’ve overcome the hard bits.
My wildflower field is reminding me of an importan My wildflower field is reminding me of an important trait: patience. So much in my life right now feels out of my control. I am experiencing a massive shift and uneasiness, and things I want to happen are so slow and feel like they are not happening at all. It is very unsettling and frustrating. 

But this was also my garden. The blooms weren’t blooming. It felt like they were never going to come. Like it would skip us this year. And I was sad at the thought that for reasons outside of my control, regardless of everything we did to tend to this garden, we would just not get the results we’d hope for. 

But this morning, I woke up, and there they were. The first few flowers. Colorful and bright, with bumblebees dancing around them. And when I looked closer, I saw so many more buds waiting to burst open. 

It all needed time. Not the time I gave them, or expected, but what was necessary. 

And so things may not happen as we wish they would, when we wish they could, but they will. We just have to be patient and trust the process. Easier said than done, I know. But, at least I have a beautiful flowering garden to admire while I wait.

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